however, it can be. I have seen it often enough... A woman is friends with a guy, leads him on without being honest. Partly his fault for not seeing it for what it is, but she always offers this glimmer of hope that a dating relationship will happen.
At the same time, this guy who is friendzoned can't get a girlfriend. Partly his fault because he has this friend whom he has allowed to take his over life but HE will not see it that way. He may even bad mouth the women who refuse to date him claiming that they are jealous and insecure due to his female BFF.
Yes, it's on the guy for not having proper boundaries but it is a lot of agro. These dynamics need to be understood by someone who is / is considering dating the guy. This is why I had reached a point when dating my husband I felt comfortable telling him either she goes or I go and did not feel that there was anything controlling about what I had asked for.
As far as being "friends" with guys,
1. with my ex(English)H, I suspect he wanted to use me to stay connected to the expat community in London and, as I said, cherry pick the friends I bring him in contact with.
2, with ex BF, I suspect he was looking for a opening back into my life and a way to accuse me of "stringing him along" to guilt me back into dating him. Yes, I know, all of us balanced, mentally healthy people here at TAM not only would never do something like that but we don't even know anyone who ever would ..... of course, but there are people out there who will do that.
I bet even in Personal's case, that woman would who thought if she hung out with @Personal
enough she would get a boyfriend out of it, probably did everything she could to ruin his reputation after they parted ways. that's how these types operate ....... if they don't outright stalk the person.
This is why it is important to understand friend zoning and when you might be an unwitting participant in it.