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post #46 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 01:58 AM
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Re: Oral sex

Oral sex? Back in my youth, only perverts did that. Cuming in a woman's mouth was akin to degrading her. I do not remember what was degrading for the man to do OS on the woman. I only was concerned about my crime.

BTW, I tried on my soon to be W and she said she didn't like it so I quit trying. She wasn't in to BJ and PIV sex was what I wanted anyway.

OK, so forward 50 years and now oral sex for both sides is acceptable and even desired? WOW, things change.

If I was with a sex positive partner, I have StarFires instructions to try out.

Not what the OP asked but just another slice of history and what is in or out.


I agree with the guy going limp could be a sign he is concentrating on the vag skills or he isn't in to eating or licking the Y.

Another old time, miss-information, you have it wrong but it sold product. "Douche With Lysol for Feminine Hygiene"
https://worldhistory.us/american-his...ne-hygiene.php
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post #47 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 02:02 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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Originally Posted by arbitrator View Post
Begging to differ with you Dude, well at least to me, it is definitely about strong feelings and love! If not, then maybe this old codger just has it all wrong!

I have no real desire to do sex with any gal unless there's the presence of some rather strong mutually built-up feelings!
I don't have the level of desire for a woman to do what I do without the love there, so maybe I guess you're right. I think the love builds that raw desire, so maybe it's both. Touchť sir!
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post #48 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 02:20 AM
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Cool Re: Oral sex

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I don't have the level of desire for a woman to do what I do without the love there, so maybe I guess you're right. I think the love builds that raw desire, so maybe it's both. Touchť sir!
You're more than a good man, my friend!

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post #49 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 02:33 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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You're more than a good man, my friend!
Thank you. You know, some day I might actually become convinced this is true.
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post #50 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 02:46 AM
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Cool Re: Oral sex

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Thank you. You know, some day I might actually become convinced this is true.
So what's remotely wrong with starting that thought process now?

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post #51 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 03:07 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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So what's remotely wrong with starting that thought process now?
I'm arrogant enough as is. An actual belief in myself would only make things worse. Besides, we are all fallen...
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post #52 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 05:19 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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I am the blow job queen Bc I specifically asked my bf what he likes because I wanted to learn how to please him. After lots is practice I got it down for him.
I don’t understand why people don’t do this to all their partners. I was literally like hey I am the only one allowed to suck ****, I want to do it right for you. I don’t understand why he can’t reciprocate the sentiment.
Yes you DO understand - you just want to keep ignoring all those red flags and go on pretending that he's a good guy when deep down, you know he's NOT.

This is not rocket science, Girl Power. You're knocking yourself out constantly giving to this guy - giving, giving, giving in EVERY sense of the word, and this stingy, using ass-hole just takes, takes, takes from you.

You see the passion you have to want to please this user? Well, he doesn't HAVE that same passion for you and doesn't care if you enjoy sex or not, and doesn't care if you're satisfied or not. He doesn't care no matter how many smarmy claims he makes that he does. He doesn't. He's shown you over and over and over and over and over in every single facet of your 'relationship' how he's happy to take from you every single opportunity he gets, while giving you NOTHING in return so why on earth should it be any different when it comes to sex?

You give, he takes. That's how it works with users like him.

And you want to just keep turning a blind eye to it then posting threads wondering why this fool can't be bothered to do a damned thing for you. You can ignore this post too like my other one in this thread because it's way too close to the truth but you know I'm right - this guy is nothing more than a parasite who'll suck you dry (NOT in the way you want him to) and then go on to the next one when you finally wise up to him and kick his worthless ass to the curb where it belongs.

Once you start seeing your worth, you'll find it harder to stay around people who don't.
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post #53 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Oral sex

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He's not actually into oral, in general, or you, in particular.



If you want a man who will frequently, skillfully, and enthusiastically go down on you...well... this isn't the guy.


Well he dated his last gf for 6 years and he went down on her once. He has been dating me for a few months and have went down on me probably... 5 times. So I donít think itís ME.
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post #54 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:16 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Oral sex

Also a few weeks ago I mentioned to him that my friends husband wonít go down on her, and she rarely goes down on her. And his response was... ďI think we have an amazing sex life and we donít often go down on each other.Ē And he basically said he would rather have PIV sex. And I am always ďreadyĒ so itís not like I need it.
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post #55 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:23 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Oral sex

Also in defensive of my boyfriend... I come on here to complain and seek advice for the things that I view as bad in our relationship. I donít talk about the good things so people get a one side story thatís negative. I am well aware that I am a very critical person.
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post #56 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:26 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I told my wife after father's day that she did the best one ever from her. It was a 7 out of 10 (I didn't tell her this) A really good job! I've only ever had a 10/10 once and every guy I know has had 1-3 in their life.

Not to discourage any lady out there. We believe in you!

So I have to ask...what has to happen for it to be a 10/10 vs a 6/10?
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post #57 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:44 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Oral sex

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Originally Posted by Spicy View Post
My husband has never given me oral sex. I miss it so much! My XH loved it and was great at it. Current hubby had a few gross experiences and then one really bad one, and has never done it since. I know if I pushed it, he would do it. I would never be able to relax and enjoy it, knowing he probably was hating it. We have extremely open conversations about everything, so we both understand where the other is coming from.

I donít think itís fair that I donít get oral because some skanks he dated in the past had bad hygiene. It annoys me. Itís the way it is though, and I chose to accept that! I have recently stopped handing out bjs left and right. Itís hard because I really love his dong and I truly enjoying slurping on it. Iíve started holding off on them because our sex life is improving and I hope that soon he will miss them, and we will have a discussion about oral again. I want him to try it from the side, and of course me fresh out of a scorching shower. Maybe he will see it is not a big deal, and not what he remembers. Or maybe he will still hate it. Who knows.

I agree with everyone else. Tastes arenít likely to change. Itís highly doubtful he will ever enjoy it, so I have decided to tolerate that it isnít on the menu. If he can get his other skills up to par, I wonít care as much. We shall see. Itís an interesting journey.

Iím one of the ones that knew, and chose to marry in a situation that there is a sexual mismatch. We have made progress, some really good steps actually, and I hope I will never give up. We go together like biscuits and jam. We are truly very happy together. Do I get sad sometimes that my love life isnít what I would ideally want? Yep. Iím pretty sure that since no one is perfect, we all have to give and take on getting the other person that checks every box for us. My guy checks everything else for me. I decided it was worth it, and I am still sure it is.

óóóóóó
Now, after reading the recap of @She'sStillGotIt on the other areas that are lacking in your relationship, only you can decide if you are okay with all of those things. Are you?


I think I portray my bf worse than he is. I mean he clearly isnít perfect and either am I, no one is. He does make me happy though. Yes I wish he would do more but I will think that about every man.
My ex husband went down on me all the time and I loved it, but he also did some horrible things to me, and said he would probably eventually cheat on me. Like who says that to someone. My boyfriend now may not love oral but he treats me way better, especially in the emotional/intimacy department.
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post #58 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:49 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
Well he dated his last gf for 6 years and he went down on her once. He has been dating me for a few months and have went down on me probably... 5 times. So I donít think itís ME.
Frankly, all you know about his relationship with his ex is what he tells you. Which may or may not be factual. Considering he also claims to love oral sex and his actions show that not to be true, I'd say take anything he says with a grain of salt and only believe what he does.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #59 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Oral sex

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Yes you DO understand - you just want to keep ignoring all those red flags and go on pretending that he's a good guy when deep down, you know he's NOT.

This is not rocket science, Girl Power. You're knocking yourself out constantly giving to this guy - giving, giving, giving in EVERY sense of the word, and this stingy, using ass-hole just takes, takes, takes from you.

You see the passion you have to want to please this user? Well, he doesn't HAVE that same passion for you and doesn't care if you enjoy sex or not, and doesn't care if you're satisfied or not. He doesn't care no matter how many smarmy claims he makes that he does. He doesn't. He's shown you over and over and over and over and over in every single facet of your 'relationship' how he's happy to take from you every single opportunity he gets, while giving you NOTHING in return so why on earth should it be any different when it comes to sex?

You give, he takes. That's how it works with users like him.

And you want to just keep turning a blind eye to it then posting threads wondering why this fool can't be bothered to do a damned thing for you. You can ignore this post too like my other one in this thread because it's way too close to the truth but you know I'm right - this guy is nothing more than a parasite who'll suck you dry (NOT in the way you want him to) and then go on to the next one when you finally wise up to him and kick his worthless ass to the curb where it belongs.


I 100% disagree with this post. And same thing with @Spicy just because her husband doesnít go down on her and she likes to go down on him doesnít mean he is a user. Some men just donít like it... and he does do it, and if I asked him I know he would do it and he says he likes to do it. He would always prefer PIV sex. Also it is important to him that I orgasm... he holds off forever until I either orgasm or give him permission to orgasm because I wonít be able to go. Yes I wish he would go down on me after sex, but I donít blame him for not wanting to do it, men here have posted they donít like to do it after they went in their women.

As far as other aspects in our life things are great and we are progressing. Itís a progress, we are learning what and how we want to be treated. He literally will do anything I ask him to do, he just isnít a mind reader. Now he is slowly learning what I want and expect.
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post #60 of 238 (permalink) Old 06-19-2019, 06:59 AM
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Re: Oral sex

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Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I've only ever had a 10/10 once

Do you remember his name?



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