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post #76 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:06 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by RebuildingMe View Post
Thanks for your honest response. It sounds like you have also been through a lot of crap. Life experiences and relationships shape people in different ways.

Part of what it got me to see is that the red pill is misandrist and that women are not the enemy.
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post #77 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:07 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Its sad when a few men who are bitter and angry try and make out that marriage has no benefits for men. It does and it always will.
My husband was divorced by his first wife of 23 years after she had an affair. He didn't let it make him bitter or angry or put him off marriage. He knows when he is well off believe me.
It is good that your husband understands himself. It does not mean that everyone benefits as your husband does. Things are not that black and white.

This is coming from a man that is neither bitter or angry. Empathy and understanding can often help those who are bitter and angry.
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post #78 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:24 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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My post wasn't mean to stir up controversy. I am just curious and wanted to gauge the married men out there.
I asked my husband. This is what I got.

"Insurance, not being nagged about getting married, the relationship being taken seriously socially and legally, and some wriggle room because it's harder for you to leave."

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #79 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:35 PM
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Stupid question from this secular humanist, that isn't an atheist:

Why do people argue about bible passages when pieces have been mistranslated, retranslated, edited, forged, and even if it was right, was written for a culture that's thousands of years old?
Why does the US still govern by a document hundreds of years old? Just because its not applicable in every way to modern life, people's hearts never really change over time. That isn't even touching on the religious side that it is God's Word handed down to us and how better to know and try to understand God and what He expects from his followers?
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post #80 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wxman3441 View Post
My post wasn't mean to stir up controversy. I am just curious and wanted to gauge the married men out there.
I asked my husband. This is what I got.

"Insurance, not being nagged about getting married, the relationship being taken seriously socially and legally, and some wriggle room because it's harder for you to leave."
Haha. Sounds about right.
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post #81 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 07:46 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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If you cohabitate with someone for a period of time and have a child with that person, you are legally married. You have to get a divorce just like anyone else, pay alimony, child support...all that good stuff.

For me, I would only get married if I wanted a family. Other than that, there's no need for marriage.
Other than the facts @EleGirl posted re: Common Law Marriage, it's about more than simply living together and having a child or children together. To qualify the couple must also use the same surname, present themselves personally and professionally as Mr and Mrs, file taxes as married, share a residence, and must do all of the above for several years before having a Common Law marriage recognized.

In Canada, at least, it seems easy to fall into a Common law marriage. Here in the U.S., not so much. It's a very deliberate act that takes longer and is more of a bother than actually just getting married.

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If marriage doesn't benefit women why do so many demand to be married but also initiate divorce disproportionately more than men?
Because, turns out, in most relationships the women handles the paperwork. I'm sure the numbers will change, though, because same sex marriage has become legal.

Personally, my exH and I were separated for over 2 years when I was finally able to file for divorce. By that time, I was living in a rental with my DH and kids while exH was living at his parents house with GF #28 (I exaggerate. She was probably #11. Too bad they didn't work. I liked that one.)

Why was I the one to file? Because he wouldn't. Apparently, it cost money and he didn't want to have to pay.

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Originally Posted by wxman3441 View Post
Accuse me to stirring up controversy if you want but there are financial incentives for women to divorce. That is a fact.
The reality is that there are incentives for the lower earning spouse to divorce. The law is gender neutral. Traditionally, it's been the woman who is the lower earner and so the idea of a bias was born.

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Originally Posted by leftfield View Post
There are also a lot of men who have contemplated/attempted/committed suicide because of marriage.
Absolutely not. No sane and mentally healthy person commits suicide with the exception of those who are terminally ill and suffering. Physically sound individuals who commit suicide do so because they are not mentally sound and not capable of sustaining their own lives.

In other words, the marriage, divorce, affair, whatever didn't cause the men you speak of to kill themselves. Mental illness did.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #82 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 07:51 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Thank you for your response. Iíve been cheated on in both marriages. Part of the ďrebuildingĒ is to quit being a doormat and seeing the world for what it really is.
You can look at the world two ways. Either everyone is good or everyone is crap. In the end, it doesn't really matter which path you choose. Just remember you are part of that "everyone" word.

If my devils are to leave me, I'm afraid my angels will take flight as well.
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post #83 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 07:55 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Its sad when a few men who are bitter and angry try and make out that marriage has no benefits for men. It does and it always will.
My husband was divorced by his first wife of 23 years after she had an affair. He didn't let it make him bitter or angry or put him off marriage. He knows when he is well off believe me.
He damn well better know.



Oh, that made me laugh. My stomach hurts. Just teasing you Diana7.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

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post #84 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:02 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Why does the US still govern by a document hundreds of years old? Just because its not applicable in every way to modern life, people's hearts never really change over time. That isn't even touching on the religious side that it is God's Word handed down to us and how better to know and try to understand God and what He expects from his followers?


How do you reconcile it though when people throw out a passage thatís been edited, mistranslated, or whatever and it just doesnít make sense in a modern context?

I mean, I see people arguing about this passage vs that passage all the time. I get the whole ďIím going to glean whatever I can from this wisdomĒ thing. Iíve done that myself.

I just donít get how people can honestly point at it like it hasnít been messed with over the years. Or maybe made sense at the time, but not now.
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post #85 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:05 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
Stupid question from this secular humanist, that isn't an atheist:

Why do people argue about bible passages when pieces have been mistranslated, retranslated, edited, forged, and even if it was right, was written for a culture that's thousands of years old?
I've gotten into arguments, not heated or anything, but arguments about song lyric meanings. Different interpretations based on world views and experiences. Firm believer in God no longer a question at all. Not so much the bible necessarily. I mean, yes and no. It's more like there's undeniable lessons in the bible that I believe are God inspired writing. Lessons anyone can practice that will lead to a more fulfilling life. Could simply be interpreted differently by different people. To your point, basically the main reason I dont take it literally. It's still a great book to read.

If my devils are to leave me, I'm afraid my angels will take flight as well.
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post #86 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:11 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I've gotten into arguments, not heated or anything, but arguments about song lyric meanings. Different interpretations based on world views and experiences. Firm believer in God no longer a question at all. Not so much the bible necessarily. I mean, yes and no. It's more like there's undeniable lessons in the bible that I believe are God inspired writing. Lessons anyone can practice that will lead to a more fulfilling life. Could simply be interpreted differently by different people. To your point, basically the main reason I dont take it literally. It's still a great book to read.

Totally different example - I got into a heated argument with an ďastrologerĒ once because she didnít understand that due to precession, all the signs were wrong.
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post #87 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:12 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
How do you reconcile it though when people throw out a passage thatís been edited, mistranslated, or whatever and it just doesnít make sense in a modern context?

I mean, I see people arguing about this passage vs that passage all the time. I get the whole ďIím going to glean whatever I can from this wisdomĒ thing. Iíve done that myself.

I just donít get how people can honestly point at it like it hasnít been messed with over the years. Or maybe made sense at the time, but not now.
Took my son to church youth group yesterday. I wanted to sneak in and say a quick prayer in the chapel. Duh, its wednesday. I dont know why I thought nobody would be there. So I'm trying to sneak out unnoticed and this guy named Mark comes out of a door and spots me. In Texas, we have strict manner codes. He said hello and I had to stop. He sucked me right into a conversation by saying his name and that he's a former heroin addict. Apparently Wednesday night is recovery group meeting night. So he drags me back to this group and I get into a conversation with them. Some of it was my interpretations on the bible because they asked. We didn't agree on very much but both our hearts were in the right place. That's all that matters.

If my devils are to leave me, I'm afraid my angels will take flight as well.
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post #88 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 08:19 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

To be honest, a little later I realized he said something and it made me think. He said "I had to say something, you had that look" and my insecurities are going "what look?" How do people know I do drugs? In my thread in private I shared the story of a new hire I was training. Not 5 minutes into the start of the day, we dont even know each other's names yet, this guy whips out some concentrates. A dab pen basically, and offered it to me. I was like wtf? How do people know? I guess I just have a look, idk what it is.

If my devils are to leave me, I'm afraid my angels will take flight as well.
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post #89 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 10:48 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Cool!

But weren't you the one telling me that the best marriages only happen with virgins?
Yes, and those who wait for marriage before having sex which we did.
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post #90 of 220 (permalink) Old 09-19-2019, 10:51 PM
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Re: Marriage for Men

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
How do you reconcile it though when people throw out a passage thatís been edited, mistranslated, or whatever and it just doesnít make sense in a modern context?

I mean, I see people arguing about this passage vs that passage all the time. I get the whole ďIím going to glean whatever I can from this wisdomĒ thing. Iíve done that myself.

I just donít get how people can honestly point at it like it hasnít been messed with over the years. Or maybe made sense at the time, but not now.
My view is that God is perfectly able to have made sure that what he wanted in the Bible is in there, and also the Bible is still very relevant.
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