Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
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post #46 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:03 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Lila View Post
What say you men of TAM? Are you within the 90% who only care about sec and food, or the 10% who need "more" to be happy in a relationship?
Yes, absolutely. Well, technically "no", because if she kept my balls empty, I would be more than happy to cook dinner.

When you can see it coming, duck!
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post #47 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by uhtred View Post
Agree. It like saying that all women want is a man with a steady paycheck who can unclog a toilet.


People are complicated and different people want different things.



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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I think that this statement demeans men frankly.
OTOH, you have been vocal in the past about how you would be much happier in your marriage if your wife could be bothered enough to give you sex every once in a while.
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post #48 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:07 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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What are you saying?
I am saying that I don't read her statement that granular. To me, it feels/reads almost like a "most men post".

That is the tone that I read it with. And I have seen some women take posts from men with the same tone as an "most women post".

So I believe in equal rights and responsibilities.

If you don't read it that way, it is your right, but that is how I see it, as is my right.

I am cool with disagreeing. I have never actually met a man that is that simplistic IRL though. And even though I am slightly more evolved, a piece of my mind does actually feel that way a little.

I will say that, if I am "being drained" so to speak, I am more tolerant of what I would call BS, so maybe I am that simplistic...
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post #49 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:08 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Zing View Post
Thank you for this.

My husband conforms to this mindset too.

I've asked him several times (in several different ways) what gives him his greatest sense of pride/achievement... what the best aspects of his life are - "Coming back from work to hear you laughing with the kids." Always. Unanimously.

His answer has never been "having a beautiful wife who's happy to have sex with me, and who cooks a tasty variety of food."
That is a considerably better question, but not to thread jack, I'll wait for lila to make a new thread out of it.


the original premise of this thread Belly full balls empty, completely ignores fishing and golf, so it can't even be a good stereotype.
I've sadly found that I need more than sex and food.
But, it has be mentioned quite a bit, by folks of both genders, that good and plenty sex covers a lot of other failings. I believe that that can often be true.
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post #50 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:34 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Have we all lost our sense of humor?

Are we so much like putty that anyone can cause us to have a fit over anything?

Do we believe others are so ignorant and weak that they will be unable to realize statements like that are intended as humor and not the law?

This thread scares me. It's frightening to realize how fragile our culture is.
I would urge you to check your own fragility.

I’m not crying in a corner by being offended. I’m pointing out the flaws in the thinking that I find offensive.

I’ve been called many things. Fragile is not one of them.

You can of course, test this at your convenience.
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post #51 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:50 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
I would urge you to check your own fragility.

I’m not crying in a corner by being offended. I’m pointing out the flaws in the thinking that I find offensive.

I’ve been called many things. Fragile is not one of them.

You can of course, test this at your convenience.
Cool your jets. I was agreeing with you. The post you quoted and replied to was just a comment on the culture today.

I'm sure your convictions will be tested. I won't have to do it myself.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

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post #52 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:53 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Cool your jets. I was agreeing with you. The post you quoted and replied to was just a comment on the culture today.

I'm sure your convictions will be tested. I won't have to do it myself.
Here’s the thing.

“I was just joking” and “you’re so fragile” are commonly used by those that aren’t joking, and are the ones who’s fragility is actually being tested.
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post #53 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 12:55 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

I am going to go with a yes answer. Without these there is little point in all the effort that goes into the bunch of other "meaningful" stuff. And no - I'm not going to do a bunch of that to "earn" these 2 basic ones. I'm pretty simple - I really just desire one of them - I can feed myself. Meet that one want/need and I'll make a lot of effort for you.

I know it's unpopular but sex is my only "need" and desire from a woman. Emotional support and all that is nice but it is not a need for me. I am fine and like myself - I don't need verification I'm Ok/nice/special/have my back/whatever. That doesn't mean I'll put up with a bunch of **** just for the sex. Yes I'm old and tainted.
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post #54 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 01:06 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Red Sonja View Post
I am not a man, however women would do well to avoid any man who believes the above bolded statement. Men who have this philosophy are highly likely to be lazy/selfish in relationships, expecting their women to carry full responsibility for the state of the relationship. They are not partner-material, more like the very definition of a man-child.
Ah, the Archie Bunkers of the world. Or, as women of my generation would say - the knuckle-draggers.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.
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post #55 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by 2&out View Post
I am going to go with a yes answer. Without these there is little point in all the effort that goes into the bunch of other "meaningful" stuff. And no - I'm not going to do a bunch of that to "earn" these 2 basic ones. I'm pretty simple - I really just desire one of them - I can feed myself. Meet that one want/need and I'll make a lot of effort for you.

I know it's unpopular but sex is my only "need" and desire from a woman. Emotional support and all that is nice but it is not a need for me. I am fine and like myself - I don't need verification I'm Ok/nice/special/have my back/whatever. That doesn't mean I'll put up with a bunch of **** just for the sex. Yes I'm old and tainted. <a href="https://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" >:-)</a>
Put it like this. Really, I don't need either from women. Porn is plentiful or on the other side of the spectrum, abstinence is rewarding in other aspects. I've been single, then a divorced dad and I managed fine. So on a needs basis, I have no need for women.

But it is nice to have a warm body at night and someone who cares enough to make my wants important to them. If it wasn't for those ingredients, it simply wouldn't be worth the effort.
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post #56 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 01:38 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by 2ntnuf View Post
Have we all lost our sense of humor?

Are we so much like putty that anyone can cause us to have a fit over anything?

Do we believe others are so ignorant and weak that they will be unable to realize statements like that are intended as humor and not the law?

This thread scares me. It's frightening to realize how fragile our culture is.
Was this supposed to be funny?
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post #57 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 01:50 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Lila View Post
@BigbadBootyDaddy posted on another thread that 90 % of men only need their partners to keep their belly's full and their balls to be empty to be content in the relationship. The 10% outliers are insignificant.

What say you men of TAM? Are you within the 90% who only care about sec and food, or the 10% who need "more" to be happy in a relationship?
I'll bet the answer for many of us is that we want from our wives what we give them. In my case, what I would die for would be for my wife to come up to me and kiss my forehead, say something nice, stroke my arm, rub my shoulders and most of all, never act like she's bothered by my attempts to connect.

This kind of illustrates the point of the 5 Love Languages, because what I value isn't necessarily what she values. What the 5 Love Languages does a poor job at is explaining how to deal with the rejection that comes from your wife not responding the way the book says she should. What then?
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post #58 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 02:08 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by Lila View Post
@BigbadBootyDaddy posted on another thread that 90 % of men only need their partners to keep their belly's full and their balls to be empty to be content in the relationship. The 10% outliers are insignificant.

What say you men of TAM? Are you within the 90% who only care about sec and food, or the 10% who need "more" to be happy in a relationship?
Heh, that was from my thread lol. For me, the whole point of my thread is that I am NOT sexually content merely to have my balls emptied. I NEED a strong emotional connection from her thru sex and I WANT passion & enthusiasm.

So maybe the above is necessary, but not sufficient.
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post #59 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 04:37 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by UpsideDownWorld11 View Post
Oh, please. Some people prefer old fashion gender roles. If a man goes out and kills dinner, its only fair the other person prepares it. If roles are reversed then maybe that no longer makes sense.

When my woman takes care of me with a homecooked meal and takes care of me in the bedroom (even if she isn't much in the mood) then I appreciate and want to return the favor in ways she appreciates. If she doesn't, I likely will resent her and lose interest in doing much of anything for her. We can all take care of those needs ourselves but thats not why I married. I have things I do in marriage for her/us and things she does for me/us too and yes I expect sex to have a fulfilling marriage.
The bolded part is left out of the original quote in the OP and, is not implied in any fashion. Do do you expect your partner to read your mind? Say what you mean and don't chastise when you fail to do so.
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post #60 of 165 (permalink) Old 12-03-2019, 04:47 PM
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Re: Belly Full, Empty Balls Rule

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Originally Posted by ConanHub View Post
Just to clarify Blues, Red specifically talked about men who were so simplistic that as long as they had sex and food all the time they didn't care about anything else and how they probably would best be avoided as mates.

Numb said she was bashing men (generalized statement) which was extremely inaccurate and I aimed my statement at his inaccurate representation of Red's post.

What are you saying?
Blue and Numb are too busy practicing their mind-reading skills to comprehend what I was saying. Or, perhaps they are not used to people who say exactly what they mean, no more and no less. Or, perhaps they are not familiar with the word "likely" as used in my original post.
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