I'd say that describes me pretty well. Something might sound too out there when I'm not in the mood but it takes on a much better shine when I'm in the moment and super turned on.
This has been extremely common in my experience. If I'm into someone, I'll be as up for something 'out there' over tea as I am when we're in the swing of things. But the women I've been with have been more like you almost without exception.
But unlike the posts that say Mr Dependable gets the boring stuff and Mr One Night Stand gets the funky stuff, I am much more likely to get funky with Mr Dependable because we have a real relationship and the whole relationship affects how I see our sex life.
Exactly. But good old mr dependable also needs to be upfront about what he wants, create a situation by which it's easy and desirable for you to say yes to it, and have all the logistics about it sorted out.
Let's give an non-kinky (to me) example: Say mr dependable wants to see you in lingerie. You're with him in the mall, you walk past victoria's secret or whatever, and instead of shuffling along, he's gotta say "hey, listen, I've always wanted to see you in something like this..." and then you go in. Or at least have a conversation about it. At which time you say "maybe..." or "sure" or "perhaps one day..." Basically he's gotta receive anything but a "no way in hell will I ever do this" as at least a "maybe."
Let's say you don't go in and buy something on the spot, but you say "maybe one day." So then, he's gotta make that one day happen. Remember, he's the one that wants this, so he's gotta do the work for it. He can't just sit there waiting for you to go to the store, buy something that is exactly what he meant by 'lingerie,' put it on for you the next day, and have everything be great. He's gotta go to the store, he's gotta know you're measurements (nothing unsexier apparently than buying lingerie the wrong size), he's gotta pick out what he wants, and then he's gotta gift it to you.
And even then, his work isn't done. He's gotta create a scenario in which you want to put it on. He's gotta get you all in the mood, he's gotta get the kids put to bed, music on, lights low, warm room, make out with you and get your motor running, and then whisper in your ear "I'd love to see you in..."
And then maybe
it happens, and he's gotta compliment and get all googly eyed and be appreciative and then rock your world. And if it doesn't happen, he's gotta do all that anyway with a smile on his face so you don't feel forced or coerced into doing something and have him be passive aggressive about it. And then he's gotta do the whole thing again a night or two or a week or a month later, and roll the dice one more time.
That's what I mean.
For example, I've got the flu this week. My guy and I had to take a few days off so I made a joke that I would have sex as long as he knew it would be total starfish sex as I was honestly too weak for much more than that. He laughed and said "No thanks...that will never be something I want from you, I'd rather we both be into it" and that tells me that sex with me is about more than just insert tab a into opening b and getting off. So if he asks for something I've never considered before I won't be thinking "He just wants that act" I'll be thinking "he wants to do that WITH me, not to me" and that's makes a huge difference to me. But even so, if it's something I've never considered before, he will definitely have a better chance if he asks during sex once I'm already all worked up.
If she's sick, I do the same. Just go into caretaking mode. If she's just tired or something, sometimes I do the opposite - I go all mr sexy on her, and watch her try to just lay there starfish style and not get into it. It's like a dare. Often, she gets very into it.