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post #46 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-16-2018, 08:51 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Yes I agree, when you think about it, flirting with other men/women, especially when you are married, is completely selfish and self centered. You do it only for yourself, because you need or want attention from them no matter what they think or feel, or how it affects them or their wives/partners. No matter how it affects your spouse and marriage or what example it sets your children if you have them.

Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them, and they and their wives may quickly decide to stay well away from such a person for good reason.

I wonder if the wife here has issues with not getting affirmation/attention from her dad? We met a lady some years back who flirted with all the men and ignored their wives, and she claimed it was because her dad didn't give her any attention or affirmation. My feeling was that it didn't give her the excuse to cause problems for others.
I think people are different and what is "acceptable" is what is acceptable to the people involved.

I don't think it matters if most men don't want their wives to flirt or not, TS is OK w/ it. We haven't heard from the men she flirts with, so that's why I wonder about them.

I suspect women who do this need affirmation but the important issue is if they're being considerate.

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post #47 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-16-2018, 08:57 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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I think people are different and what is "acceptable" is what is acceptable to the people involved.

I don't think it matters if most men don't want their wives to flirt or not, TS is OK w/ it. We haven't heard from the men she flirts with, so that's why I wonder about them.

I suspect women who do this need affirmation but the important issue is if they're being considerate.
Flirting isn't being considerate to anyone though. To her husband, the other men or their partners. I suspect that deep down he doesn't like it, few men would, and that's why he has come here.
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post #48 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-16-2018, 09:55 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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Flirting isn't being considerate to anyone though. To her husband, the other men or their partners. I suspect that deep down he doesn't like it, few men would, and that's why he has come here.
I don't think you're very comfortable w/ the idea that people can be different from you.
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post #49 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-19-2018, 11:29 AM
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[/QUOTE]Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them[/QUOTE]

Really?? Pretty sure everyone enjoys positive attention... now if it is in front of an insecure spouse who is going to give a negative response then obviously it will not be appreciated or wanted.
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post #50 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-20-2018, 09:01 AM
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Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.
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post #51 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-20-2018, 10:17 AM
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Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.
Would it be okay with you if your wife enjoyed being flirted with? Or if shes the one flirting?
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post #52 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-20-2018, 11:06 AM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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First of all, I like to state I love my wife and her and I are happily married.

My wife, (Kelly), and I meet in college and I was drawn to her outgoing vibrant flirting personality and her fantastic body, blonde hair, and cute face.

My male friends kept forewarning me, Kelly is not the type girl I should date and heaven forbid marry due to her being too much of a flirt, having dated too many guys, and showing off her body too much.

Kelly and I married for who we each are, not to try to make changes in each other.

Of my male college friends who were wrong in telling me not to marry Kelly, are either divorced or unhappily married, whereas Kelly and I are very much in love and happily married.

To this day Kelly is very much of a flirt with men and that is just an extension of who she is as a person, vibrant and fun loving, all of which I fully accept.

Both Kelly and I, keep in shape with her being in fantastic shape. My wife's hobby and passion is to enter one or two bikini contest a year to show off her dedication to working out, nutrition, and fantastic physical attributes.

Are my wife's bikinis skimpy and revealing? Yes, very much so, from thongs that place her rear on public display to the tops that barely cover her boobs. But the bottom line her and I are very happy together and have left my negative college buddies to wallow in their disappointing marriages or state of divorce.

The fitness center my wife and I are members have a large poster on display of my wife in a bikini from her most recent contest she had won. Once again, the bikini reveals just about all of my wife's physical attributes and beauty......Yes but it also shows her hard work in training and nutrition and motivational for members of the club.

So after years of marriage, I love my flirty and exhibitionist wife and would not change on thing about her.

I would like to hear insights and feedback from other married couples with a wife thats tends to flirt and if it is a positive or negative.

Thanks from Wesley and Kelly
I don't see anything wrong with your relationship but you seem a bit too hung up and down on your college friends.

I want everyone to have a good marriage and I'm sad if a marriage is unhappy or ends.

Your relationship isn't for everyone or necessarily a recipe for success.

It works for you so no worries but isn't for everyone.

Mrs. Conan is modest and I'm not but we love each other and make due.

I could wish she showed off a little more. She does flirt naturally but I don't think she realizes she is.

We are comfortable with our boundaries and she gets more leeway when flirting with women. We don't swing or share. It is just harmless fun when everyone is having a good time.
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post #53 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-21-2018, 08:21 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

It's an ego problem.

She's not satisfied with just your attention - she needs it from loads of others.


It's like a con - she shows nearly all but no one can have it.

I call that cruel flirting that's designed for her selfish needs - ego strokes.

It's mean actually.
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post #54 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-21-2018, 10:50 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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I don't think you're very comfortable w/ the idea that people can be different from you.
I know what flirting is about and where it can lead. For anyone in a relationship/marriage its a no no and totally selfish.
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post #55 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-21-2018, 10:52 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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It's an ego problem.

She's not satisfied with just your attention - she needs it from loads of others.


It's like a con - she shows nearly all but no one can have it.

I call that cruel flirting that's designed for her selfish needs - ego strokes.

It's mean actually.
Yep. Shows an immaturity and a low self esteem.

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post #56 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-21-2018, 10:58 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

Most married men do NOT want some woman flirting with them[/QUOTE]

Really?? Pretty sure everyone enjoys positive attention... now if it is in front of an insecure spouse who is going to give a negative response then obviously it will not be appreciated or wanted.[/QUOTE]

Nothing to do with a jealous spouse, but a desire to focus their sexual energies and desires on their own husband or wife. I would hate it if another man flirted with me because I am just not interested. My husband is one of many men who would avoid a flirt at all costs, he just isn't interested in a woman who acts that way. He actually finds women who are modest far more attractive. He is also very secure in himself and doesn't need affirmation form others.
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post #57 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-21-2018, 11:03 PM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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Originally Posted by Rob_1 View Post
Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.
Well you said it right, fragile male egos. Those men who don't have such fragile male egos don't want another woman flirting with them. Two people both with fragile egos trying to make themselves feel better by flirting, and they are married as well. Its a bit pathetic really and its playing with fire.

Last edited by Diana7; 10-22-2018 at 04:57 AM.
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post #58 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-22-2018, 12:43 AM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

Neither my husband or I flirt with others. So can't help you there.

My husband is uncomfortable when other women flirt with him...especially in front of me. Married or not, in a relationship or not, it makes him uneasy if they are flirty. It has impacted at least 2 friendships as I'm not a big fan of them flirting in front of me and he isn't/wasn't comfortable around them, even with me there.

However, each relationship is different. If you are both into it, then it isn't an issue. Most couples, I imagine, have an element to their relationship that others would find odd but works for them.
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post #59 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-22-2018, 04:55 AM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

IF a person is completely ok with their partner flirting and exposing their body to others, they don't need to come onto a forum about marriage trying to persuade others(and themselves) that they are happy with it. Its clear as day that he isn't as happy as he makes out.
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post #60 of 71 (permalink) Old 10-22-2018, 04:59 AM
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Re: In Defense of my Flirting Wife

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Originally Posted by Rob_1 View Post
Well, most married men that I personally know (including myself) really love it when women flirt with us. Actually, we eat that **** so easily, that it puts a big smile in our fragile Male egos.

Nothing to do with a jealous spouse, but a desire to focus their sexual energies and desires on their own husband or wife. I would hate it if another man flirted with me because I am just not interested. My husband is one of many men who would avoid a flirt at all costs, he just isn't interested in a woman who acts that way. He actually finds women who are modest far more attractive. He is also very secure in himself and doesn't need affirmation form others.
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