I'm Back! - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
New Member Forum - Introduce Yourself! Drop in, say hi, and get to know your community.

User Tag List

 99Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 55 (permalink) Old 08-17-2019, 10:44 AM
Member
 
Oldtimer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2018
Location: Northern Canada
Posts: 151
Re: I'm Back!

I’ve seen your name mentioned in reading some of the threads, welcome back. My sincerest condolences on your mothers passing, I lost mine at a young age, but have never lost her, if you know what I mean. Spiritually she tends to guide me.

From every rainstorm, a beautiful flower grows! I’m glad your wife, the beautiful flower, is strong in her convictions, I say bravo. I wish you strength in carrying on with her in her work.

You are right in that many victims of these type of things never report such crimes, kudos to her and you for not going ballistic, not sure I wouldn’t have. You are also right in saying that many spouses would turn their back on their spouse if this type of thing happens, unfortunately most are not sure how to deal with the aftermath. Again, kudos to you in that regard.

Keep up the good work.

OT

Oldtimer is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 55 (permalink) Old 08-17-2019, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 17,949
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldtimer View Post
I’ve seen your name mentioned in reading some of the threads, welcome back. My sincerest condolences on your mothers passing, I lost mine at a young age, but have never lost her, if you know what I mean. Spiritually she tends to guide me.

From every rainstorm, a beautiful flower grows! I’m glad your wife, the beautiful flower, is strong in her convictions, I say bravo. I wish you strength in carrying on with her in her work.

You are right in that many victims of these type of things never report such crimes, kudos to her and you for not going ballistic, not sure I wouldn’t have. You are also right in saying that many spouses would turn their back on their spouse if this type of thing happens, unfortunately most are not sure how to deal with the aftermath. Again, kudos to you in that regard.

Keep up the good work.

OT


Thanks. I actually did go ballistic - my brother in law was there when my wife told me to keep me from doing something stupid. My first response was to stand up and pull out my truck keys.

My wife just wanted me to be there for her and help her instead of kicking his door in. So I had to sit down for her.

I called some hotlines that night or the next day, and got into therapy right away. What I learned is that this stuff is about control - and that I needed to let my wife control how this was responded to. That I needed to let it be about her, and only her, and give her back her agency.

Thanks for the well wishes.
Marduk is online now  
post #48 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 10:57 AM
Member
 
Gabriel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,766
Re: I'm Back!

Wow, like you, I stayed mostly away from TAM for awhile but I got invested in a couple of stories, @bobert and @20yr, that kind of sucked me back into this world.

I remember your story too - glad to see you are doing well, despite everything.
Gabriel is offline  
 
post #49 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 11:38 AM Thread Starter
Member
 
Marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 17,949
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabriel View Post
Wow, like you, I stayed mostly away from TAM for awhile but I got invested in a couple of stories, @bobert and @20yr, that kind of sucked me back into this world.



I remember your story too - glad to see you are doing well, despite everything.


Thanks man.
Marduk is online now  
post #50 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 12:01 PM
Member
 
lovelygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tirana, Albania
Posts: 2,359
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
.



Secondly, my wife was sexually assaulted by a family friend, in our own home, with me unaware in the next room. Bastard groped her right there on our couch.
Whaaaaaaaat??? The..phuck?
A friend of yours (family)...groped your wife????

Haven't read the other posts ...but I can't believe the evilness of people that are around....especially those close to family!!

That's insane!!!

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk

sokillme: *People cheat because of their nature, not because of their circumstance.*
Davelli0331: If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.
lovelygirl is offline  
post #51 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 17,949
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl View Post
Whaaaaaaaat??? The..phuck?
A friend of yours (family)...groped your wife????

Haven't read the other posts ...but I can't believe the evilness of people that are around....especially those close to family!!

That's insane!!!

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk
Ya, it sucked that's for sure. What sucked even worse in some ways is that her entire friend group (wife of this guy and other married women in that friend group) all turned their backs on her. 100%. They didn't like their fun little group being torn apart, and didn't like that she went to the police over it - "but what about the pain and embarrassment for the wife? What about his kids?"

It didn't surprise us at all to find that the police had been called to their house a number of times by his wife, but it did surprise us both that other women that initially supported her, and brought forward stories of their own being assaulted by this guy, ended up betraying my wife. She came forward to support these women, and they **** on her.

I had this vision of women as some kind of sisterhood supporting each other. Boy, was I wrong.
Marduk is online now  
post #52 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 01:45 PM
Member
 
lovelygirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tirana, Albania
Posts: 2,359
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
Ya, it sucked that's for sure. What sucked even worse in some ways is that her entire friend group (wife of this guy and other married women in that friend group) all turned their backs on her. 100%. They didn't like their fun little group being torn apart, and didn't like that she went to the police over it - "but what about the pain and embarrassment for the wife? What about his kids?"



.
Seriously, tripple betrayal.

-He as a family friend;
-As your friend;
-Those girls unsupportive behaviour!

I don't know why I'm suddenly envisioning the desperate housewives...chit-chatting and b*tching around with stupid gossip and childish logic, against your wife.

Good you got through it safely!

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk

sokillme: *People cheat because of their nature, not because of their circumstance.*
Davelli0331: If a GNO, or alcohol, or an attractive coworker, or a past flame on FB were all that were needed for someone to cheat, then I think that person had that defect in their integrity all along. All they ever lacked was the opportunity to act on their lack of integrity and the circumstances required to rationalize it to themselves.

Last edited by lovelygirl; 09-04-2019 at 02:31 PM.
lovelygirl is offline  
post #53 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-04-2019, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 17,949
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovelygirl View Post
Seriously, tripple betrayal.

-He as a family friend;
-As your friend;
-Those girls unsupprtive behaviour!

I don't know why I'm suddenly envisioining the desperate housewives...chit chatting and b*tching around with stupid gossip and childish logic, against your wife.

Good you got through it safely!

Sent from my SM-N960F using Tapatalk

You’re pretty much describing that group exactly.

It’s blown up since and they’ve mostly gone their separate ways. I never liked them much to begin with, and I wasn’t more than an acquaintance with the guy. For me, they were couples you’d party with, go on weekend trips, that kind of thing. My wife was close with those women though, and I had cautioned her for some time about how they were superficial losers in my mind.

I will say that Karma has not been kind to them. I will not document my role in that behind the scenes.
Marduk is online now  
post #54 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-15-2019, 01:22 AM
Member
 
As'laDain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,840
Re: I'm Back!

@Marduk,

glad to see you back! im sorry to hear of your loss and the assault, but its good to hear that your wife is kicking ass.


i just came back from my own disappearance... life gets crazy sometimes.

"I am the wiser in respect to all knowledges, and the better qualified for all fortunes, for knowing that there is a minnow in the brook." -Henry David Thoreau
As'laDain is offline  
post #55 of 55 (permalink) Old 09-15-2019, 06:41 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
Marduk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 17,949
Re: I'm Back!

Quote:
Originally Posted by As'laDain View Post
@Marduk,



glad to see you back! im sorry to hear of your loss and the assault, but its good to hear that your wife is kicking ass.





i just came back from my own disappearance... life gets crazy sometimes.


Thanks man, glad to hear from you.

Marduk is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome