Yes he is a bit depressed, has been on antidepressants for a couple of years. He started getting anxiety from nowhere. It has knocked his self esteem we’ve discussed all that. I’ve been overly caring about it all, regardless of how frustrated I’ve been for years. Some may wonder how we got our babies and I can tell you the two middle ones were hand made if you get my meaning. Having the children kept us strong made me happy but now that’s done and he’s lost interest in everything.
I have told him everything I’m saying here, except the going off him part. He would never allow his partner to sleep with someone else, he’d go mad if I suggested it. I realise if someone comes my way and something happens that will be the end of us. I deliberately never go out socialising or drinking without him as I know there’s always temptation and I’d be the one feeling I’m doing wrong. He’d be happy to stay like this forever, he’s too selfish to put me first.
Ok sorry to suggest it. I just sometimes try to think of many angles for answers.
The anti-dep could certainly NOT be working properly or causing these sexual side effects. Rather common I'm afraid.
While a knee-jerk reaction is to call him selfish, let me suggest another viewpoint.
He's depressed and so mired in his own pain that he's not seeing yours.
He's a guy (sorry men) who are sometimes not as aware of all the nuances as we women are. Men can sometimes be less complicated in their perceptions and expectations. Which can be lovely and refreshing, but can sometimes leave us feeling that they are not aware of what we are going through.
Can you go with him to the doctors? Can you take him, make the appointments? Sometimes its just so damned hard to do when you are in the middle of it.
To get a glimpse, watch a video by the Black Dog Institute called I Had A Black Dog: His name was depression on YouTube. Maybe you will see some of this situation in the video.
I'm afraid that my own struggles with depression make me more biased that way in my answers. I"m hoping that someone else can give you another perspective.