I think your advises sound a lot reasonable and make sense. A broken home is a danger to everyone including the adults i agree. I am willing to do whatever it takes to see those kid grow the way it is supposed to. if their mom think moving is im her best interest i will not oppose her but as i mentioned originally introducing the kids to anyone new just because you feel comfortable next to them is wrong to the extreme. have sleep overs at a man house with your 5 year old and her dad not being aware of that not knowing the man it is very wrong. so far i have seen no one here say she did that part right. She never took the 11 year old there why? Because she knew in the back of her mind it was wrong and the kid could turn into something else but she knew it was wrong. She did took them to dinner with that man on the 11 year old birthday then on her own birthday the kid will remember that in the future and will probably look at her differently. I admire what your friend did. She went on date only when the dad had his kids. I have so much respect for that. I am the number one cheater but i never ever had a sleep over with any woman with my kids involved because my wrongdoings should not involve them. Also i am available all she has to do is say take your kids i need time to myself i never refused that never will and i actually offered to stay home with the kids when i was around so she could have some free time to herself. She told me the kids had a week vacation the min she said that i flew to them picked them up and had a blast with them for a week. she could have done the same those times when she introduced them to a stranger. the good news she agreed yesterday not to introduce them to anyone in the future or to that same man again. It wasn't common sense to her but she eventually agreed
Some really weird narcissism going on here.
I cheated, but she did it around the kids.
I cheated, but she introduced a stranger to the kids
I cheated, but the kids will remember her cheating.
I cheated, but when she did it was worse.
I cheated, but she should have thought about the kids when she did.
She’s done with you and I do not think it is about money or revenge or the counseling. No, you screwed up and she followed in your footsteps.
Is it her Newfound independence that bothers you or “how dare she cheat on me” that is the issue?
her cheating is wrong, but your scale balancing tells me you didn’t learn anything from your behavior. Sorry, I for one do not buy “it is all about the kids.” That reason should have stopped you from serial cheating. This is just a way for you to minimize your actions and make hers worse.