Married for almost 13 years, 2 children ages 6 and 10. The frequency now is once in the last 2 months. For the year or so prior to that it was averaging bi-weekly. For the first 7-8 years of our marriage (except immediately after childbirth) I would say closer to once a week.
I have have had a lot of discussions about it. I am especially troubled by the sudden drop off. It wasn’t as much as I ever wanted, but now it’s completely gone to almost nothing and it seems like it happened overnight. I know she is not having an affair, there is nothing suspicious on any of her electronic devices. She stays at home during the day and quite honestly is not the type that would put herself out there for that.
Most of the discussions round back to “I don’t feel like it. I can’t make myself want to do something I don’t want to do.” When I ask her how she can address those issues I get met with “I don’t know how to fix it.” I suggested sex therapy and she said absolutely not.
We are currently in marriage counseling but just started. The third session is this week.
She claims now that she never really wanted to have sex but was just doing it for me. She seemed to enjoy it at the time though.
I will add that she is on an SSRI, but has been on it for over 20 years. She frequently blames the medicine for her lack of desire. But since she was on it before I’m just not buying that all of a sudden it has caused her to never want to have sex.
I help with the kids and am a sole provider for our family.
Some additional details would help.
Details such as how long you been married, if you have children, sexual frequency, the reason you feel your frequency is down, whether or not sexual frequency was always low, as well as some of the discussions you've had with your spouse would be very helpful.
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