I totally agree with you. When I posted my responses to the "attack" on me, it was early in the morning. Perhaps I should have waited. That's no excuse.
Having said that, I have been working over time to better who I am. And I have succeeded. I am not there yet and I never will be. But no one who knows me in real life can't say I don't try. I fail, sure. But I try. But maybe I am lying to myself. Cause I'm still in this marriage and I am not where I want to be professionally. If i was where I want to be professionally I would probably be out of the marriage.
Just look at what I wrote... it's all over the place. lmao
BUT I OWN IT. My wife does not. My wife is the one with the problem. Trust me on this.
Marital issues are rarely the fault of one spouse. Usually, it's a bad dynamic. You flew off the handle at something that wasn't even aimed at you, but meant to be part of a discussion on Biblical grounds for divorce. You are or were overly sensitive and seeing persecution where there was none.
My DH can very occasionally do the same when he is "hangry" (hungry with low blood sugar and starting to get loopy) and when he does I want to punch him in the throat. That kind of thing is definitely NOT attractive. My advice is to learn to recognize that kind of thinking BEFORE you say, type, or do anything so that you can prevent it from being a problem for you and those who interact with you.
Back to the topic, we both know that as a Baptized Catholic you were required by the rules of your faith to either marry in the Church or get dispensation to marry elsewhere. You didn't and your marriage is considered invalid. For sure, not even a question.
"In the Sacrament of Marriage, a baptized Christian man exchanges vows with a baptized Christian woman. Before Almighty God, they promise to each other a love that is faithful, permanent, exclusive, self-sacrificing, and life-giving. Through marriage, a couple now enters into a new public state of life both in the eyes of the Church and society; therefore, the celebration of the marriage rightfully ought to be public with the vows exchanged before a priest (or other authorized witness of the Church), the witnesses (usually the Best Man and Maid of Honor), and the faithful gathered for the ceremony (Cf. Catechism, #1663).
Given this basis, a Catholic (either baptized as a Catholic or later entering the Catholic Church after having already been baptized in another Christian denomination) is bound to be married in the Catholic Church. The Church in which one has been baptized and confirmed, receives Holy Communion, and professes faith, ought to be the Church in which one is married. Consequently, whether a Catholic is marrying a Catholic or a baptized non-Catholic Christian or a non-believer, the normal expectation is for the marriage to take place in the Catholic Church.
However, when a Catholic is marrying a baptized non-Catholic Christian, legitimate circumstances may arise when the couple would like to be married in the Church of the non-Catholic. Such circumstances include recognizing a special or long-standing relationship with a minister, or preventing family alienation. In such case, the couple would complete the regular Catholic marriage preparation. The Catholic party would also attest to his intention of not leaving the Catholic Church, and of promising to baptize and to raise the children in the Catholic faith. The non-Catholic party would be informed of these promises, attest to understanding these promises, and in turn promise not to interfere in their fulfillment.
After the preparation and the attainment of these promises, the priest would petition the bishop on behalf of the couple for a "Dispensation from Canonical Form," meaning permission for the couple to be married outside of the Catholic Church. The Church requires a dispensation because the bishop, as shepherd of the diocese and guardian of souls, must insure that the couple is prepared as best as possible for marriage and is ready to enter into Holy Matrimony. With such permission, the wedding is valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church.
However, if a Catholic enters marriage outside of the Catholic Church without the necessary dispensation, then the marriage is considered invalid and is not recognized by the Church. Moreover, this action places the person in a state of mortal sin. For instance, if a Catholic marrying either another Catholic or anyone else just decides to be married in some other Church or by a Justice of the Peace, that marriage is invalid. While such a marriage may have legal standing in the eyes of the state, it has no legitimate standing in the eyes of the Church." (Confer Code of Canon Law, #1124-25).