Should I run a deleted text recovery? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 11:22 AM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

why waste your time? It's just pain shopping.

If you don't find anything, you'll still not trust.
If you do find something, you'll feel bad, and still do.... nothing.

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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 11:36 AM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

Finding out that she hasn't cheated (with any more men) may not make you happier.

Finding out that she has cheated again will destroy you. It is not worth the risk.

You obviously love her very much (otherwise why would you stay with a cheater?). So if she has cheated again, you will probably still remain with her, but this time more of your soul will have been crushed.

Don't do it.
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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 11:42 AM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
I don't believe I have the full truth..
Having the full truth, if you have demanded it, is a reasonable need if you are going to R successfully.

Have you talked with OM's W about what the full truth may be?

Have you considered a polygraph for your W?
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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 12:14 PM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

StillSearching,

More data is better data, if she is still lying to you she knows it and the OM knows it, but you do not. They are her special secrets and intimacies she still shares with the OM.

Once you recover the texts send them to OMW it may help her to decide to divorce OM.

I think in your case a polygraph is mandatory for any hope of recovery.

Tamat
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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 12:40 PM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

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Originally Posted by StillSearching View Post
This is a good description of what I am currently doing.
I think the reason I brought up getting the deleted text is just the past, from 6 months ago, haunting me.
I guess the whole thing is getting to my head too much.

Conan is absolutely right....your relationship is out of balance....you are like a parent to a child making sure they stay out of trouble, watching them like a hawk, when it should be her doing everything to keep you...stop giving her power, you need to change it around or else you are creating a another self seeking prophesy.....waiting to catch her again and then to what end so you can be right again... how does that solve anything....stop the madness and just divorce, its called cutting your losses.

but if you decide stay, then you need a new set of rules.... start being and feeling independent, you go out without her, sped time without her, you start being secretive then you make her start worrying, you make her step up her came...one fact you need to know, cheaters hate being cheated on, in their mind, there is room for only one cheater in the family and they go crazy when they think they are being cheated on....

question have you ever said to her that your relationship is out of balanced that you have the right to have hall passes....I promise you that is one discussion she would not want to have with you.
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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 12:46 PM
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
I dont see how you can trust her after at least 3 betrayals. She has show you she cant be trusted but you have decided to stay, so you will have to live with the uncertainty.
Yes and No.

You can trust her to be hungry. Very hungry for male attention.
That will not change, until her feminine qualities and yearnings turn to stone at age 65 to 105.
No guarantee that will happen.

You will always be uncertain about these "bouts" of hungry weakness.

The best you can hope for is that she will have these wayward desires, not act on them.
Is that good enough?

Here is a plum, a tad sour.

A lot of men and women have these yearnings and desires for romps with others.
They do.

Not @Diana7, she is an exceptional exception.

But you never know these thoughts because they remain fantasies, not real events.
Neafre spaca, spuken, sayeth.

Yours' be real events.

Maybe, just maybe she has gotten the wonderful Wanderlust out of her cuppebord.
An loocated in er varm furre ofen.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out. The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall.
The Host, Rd is ill, any years left, remain now, in doubt? Red Dog is now lost to us.
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 01:07 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thor View Post
Having the full truth, if you have demanded it, is a reasonable need if you are going to R successfully.

Have you talked with OM's W about what the full truth may be?

Have you considered a polygraph for your W?
Yes we are both looking to no new avail yet. She has stop looking almost and started R.

Yes she is willing to do a Poly.
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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 01:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Should I run a deleted text recovery?

All of you have very good advice. Thank you all. Most of it I really needed to hear.
I've lived in chaos for many years and I'm looking to bring order back.
I knew that it was a good idea to run it past you.
There's another curve ball thrown into my marriage yesterday that has got me thinking I will step back a day or so til her pathology report comes back.

*update* Tests came back benign.
I believe I'm going to run the program in a few days. It looks like it take a while to to run and compile the data.

Last edited by StillSearching; 01-18-2018 at 01:35 PM.
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