trying to reconcile - Talk About Marriage
Reconciliation This forum is for those focused on reconciliation and success stories from people who have been through separation and reconciled successfully.

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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 03:06 AM Thread Starter
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trying to reconcile

Just after two months of being separated my wife txt me saying she wants her family back then asked if i was over her. i said no i still love you she replied saying she did too. on our anniversary of 5 years of getting to together she came to my house and stayed first thing i did when she walked in the door was kiss her! then the hard stuff she told me to stop messaging the girl that i was even looked through the messages so i cut her off. then i asked bout the guy she has been hanging with she said he stayed the night once. which hurt but we both i guess thought it was over. for the next few days i stayed at her house and enjoyed hanging out. then i went to work she txt saying she isnt sure if she can get passed me messaging her. but said she forgives me and loves me etc. i still am staying ever now and again catch up all the time steal the occasional kiss. taking it slow which is harder than i thought but best for us. im looking for advice i think i am doing well but just need to make sure. any advice would be great thanks

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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 03:19 AM
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Re: trying to reconcile

You need to read your message after you finish typing. It is very difficult to understand and can lead to some advice that does not apply.

Use the edit feature.
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 03:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: trying to reconcile

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You need to read your message after you finish typing. It is very difficult to understand and can lead to some advice that does not apply.

Use the edit feature.
Hi i understand it however im not great at explaining things on a keyboard. what parts do you not understand ill try clear it up for you.
Thank you
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 03:34 AM
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Re: trying to reconcile

So she gets upset you message a girl but she gets to have a man sleep over. Seems a little strange don't ya think ?
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 03:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: trying to reconcile

oh right i should of added a bit more there. it was one of our friends that we both knew and she probably shouldnt of read the messages but i was trying to be honest and tell her we were flirting.i never hang out with her after she knew we were separated because i still loved my wife and didnt want anything to happen. also i should have stop messaging her when my wife said she wanted her family back but didnt until my wife show up on my doorstep. or maybe she feels guilty bout what she has done which i haven't mentioned really at all. because it seems that all it did was make her realize how much better i was.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 04:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: trying to reconcile

however i want to leave that behind and need the advice on reconnecting and what to do or not to do when taking it slow.
Thank you
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 12:48 PM
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Re: trying to reconcile

so let me understand this...she cheats on you, and she is pissed about you messaging a girl what a freaking hypocrite did you tell her that....if this reconcile is to work she need to own her crap 100% Do not allow her to write the narrative.
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 01:03 PM Thread Starter
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Re: trying to reconcile

i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 01:24 PM
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i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.
You can’t reconcile if you don’t know the truth. That is called rugsweeping and will catch up to you later in a bad way. Best to find out now what she did or didn’t do.
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 01:40 PM
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Re: trying to reconcile

Why did you move out in the first place?

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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 01:43 PM
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You didn’t address the man in her bed with her. You did not hold her accountable. It sounds like all you want to do is apologize for yourself and move on. Rug sweeping is always a bad strategy.....always.
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 01:52 PM
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Re: trying to reconcile

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Originally Posted by Ryan2711 View Post
Just after two months of being separated my wife txt me saying she wants her family back then asked if i was over her. i said no i still love you she replied saying she did too. on our anniversary of 5 years of getting to together she came to my house and stayed first thing i did when she walked in the door was kiss her! then the hard stuff she told me to stop messaging the girl that i was even looked through the messages so i cut her off. then i asked bout the guy she has been hanging with she said he stayed the night once. which hurt but we both i guess thought it was over. for the next few days i stayed at her house and enjoyed hanging out. then i went to work she txt saying she isnt sure if she can get passed me messaging her. but said she forgives me and loves me etc. i still am staying ever now and again catch up all the time steal the occasional kiss. taking it slow which is harder than i thought but best for us. im looking for advice i think i am doing well but just need to make sure. any advice would be great thanks
I have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds like you're both cheating on each other but want to reconcile?
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 02:07 PM
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Re: trying to reconcile

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i dont think they did anything but i didnt ask either coz i didnt want to know at the moment lol. will probably come up later if it does work out im just enjoying hanging out again at the moment. we were both separated at the time so i dont really feel like we have done anything wrong. both of us thought it was over thats why we went separate ways and did things we both regret.
So as soon as you separated she cheated on you, and she is annoyed that you messaged someone else buts that as far as it went? Such a hypocrite. I think she wants you back because she doesnt want you being with anyone else.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 02:30 PM
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Re: trying to reconcile

She just wants to carry on like it never happened.

Do you think she was thinking of you or herself when she showed up?

Is that not the same mentality that started all this?

Why would you think it will end differently this time?

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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 11-12-2019, 02:34 PM
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Sounds like your pu$$y-whipped.

She is gonna run all over you like Oscar pistorious except without the blade leg things.
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