Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

Waking Up One's Spouse with Foreplay to Have Sex

29K views 61 replies 33 participants last post by  seattle_stranger 
#1 ·
I'm curious because of this thread. In case you don't want to read it, a man was at a party with his girlfriend and he got really drunk so passed out. He woke up with her on top of him, having sex with him. He was a virgin prior to this and he felt raped at the end of this experience.

It got me thinking because whether we're sober or intoxicated, both myself and my partner have woken each other up with foreplay and then once the other is awake, have sex. We've never talked about it but since it's something we've both done sporadically for eleven years, so I feel safe to assume that neither one of us feels violated by it and it's fair game for either of us. I'm curious to hear about other people's takes on this (not the linked thread but on wake-up sex in general).

When answering this question, think about marriage or long-term relationships where you've known each other for some time and have already established a sexual relationship (not a first or third-date scenario).

Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?
 
See less See more
#3 ·
Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?
SO often wakes me up for sex. I don't mind it a bit -- in fact, I find it incredibly sexy. It's usually on the weekends when no one has to get up early in the morning (he is very respectful in that regard) and its never a long drawn out session -- a powerful quickie and then we both fall right back to sleep in eachother's arms.

I feel a powerful connection when it happens.

I would wake him up more and do the same, but honestly I am a VERY deep sleeper and rarely wake up.

The incident in the other thread is completely different; I would feel completely violated if someone was having sex with me while drunk and passed out (although I don't get drunk and pass out, so it would never happen anyway :rofl:)
 
#4 · (Edited)
Both Lady Convection and I have woken the other for sex with foreplay. Neither of us minds. But unlike the other thread, we've also clearly discussed it and made sure we're both okay with it. And in the event that one us tells the other to stop or wait until morning, we do.

Neither of us certainly feels violated; this is my wife and she should have a fair amount of access to my body (and vice versa). The most I have felt is annoyance on days when I am exhausted and just want to rest - and then I make it up to her as soon as I am coherent again.

Respect and communication.
 
#10 ·
This is pretty much like us. Except, we've never really discussed it. It's just something we've always done with either of us being the initiator ever since we've been together. There's only been one or two times that one of us opted to keep sleeping because we were just too tired. Lately though, this wake-up sex has been happening more in our house. With a ten and two year old, if they're both sleeping it's potential game time... gotta take it when you can have it lol.
 
#5 ·
We occasionally have 'wake up sex'.

Not very often, maybe once a month or less.

It's fine with me and enjoyable for once in a while.
Not a lot because the next day you might be dragging a bit.

Never would feel violated though.

That's an odd reaction from a guy I think.

Most guys I think it would be a delicious fantasy!
 
#7 ·
I personally don't like wake up sex - I can't get turned on like that when I've just woken up so would prefer to be left alone. However, I have in the past woken boyfriends up with a BJ which has always gone down well - usually in the middle of the night, rather than in the morning. When I was with my last partner we didn't have sex for quite a while (it was me that didn't want it because the rest of the relationship was in such bad shape). I woke up one night, totally turned on and at the point of orgasm and still wonder to this day if he was "fiddling" with me while I was asleep. He did used to try wake up sex now and again, only for me to leap out of bed in horror once I was actually awake. Sorry, not for me wake up sex - just don't get any pleasure out of it.
 
#8 ·
My W and I both initiate foreplay while the other is asleep. Hard to do when we are both asleep but sometimes not unusual to find my W hand in a certain spot. Anyway... She is a night person and will start foreplay that culminates in sex. I'm a morning guy that starts foreplay that culminates in sex. And eggs, toast and sausage. :D
 
  • Like
Reactions: Miss Taken
#11 ·
My husband has woken me out of a sound sleep many times and I've always enjoyed it. I just wish I didn't have to halt the action to empty my bladder first. Damn bladder!

One time he woke me with a fast and furious one. When it was finished I giggled and told him I don't know what I did to make him mad but I'd be happy to do it again!

I've woken him out of a sound sleep many times, and the only reason why I like this better is because I have already emptied my bladder.
 
#13 ·
I've woken my wife up on occasion--didn't seem to be an issue. She has not done this herself, but I'd be open to it.

As has been stated previously, it's been discussed beforehand and cleared as acceptable, so it's not in the same camp as the guy who got drunk.
 
#15 ·
I know better than to wake my wife when she's sleeping, even for sex :) She's made it clear she wouldn't mind at all, but I've never really tested that out...besides, it's most likely only been six or eight hours since the last time we had sex anyway.

I am almost always awake and up and about before she is, so she very rarely has the chance to wake me with foreplay and sex. She has actually set her alarm a few times to purposefully be awake before me, to wake me that way. The problem I have is as I become more aware and awake, I realize what she is doing, know she gave up her sleeping time, know that she'd like to be asleep, and I end up going soft. Frustrating as hell for both of us.

We do have morning sex most weekends after we're both awake. With her work schedule change, and her having to get up earlier, it's becoming more regular during the week as well.
 
#19 · (Edited)
I just want to add that my ex NEVER did this.

The first time my SO woke me up for sex, I was so caught off guard. Didn't have a clue what was happening :eek:. I quickly figured it out :D.

I enjoy these nocturnal/early morning "escapades"... they're usually fast and furious pounding, b*ng-me-into-tomorrow moments... LOVE IT! :smthumbup: They're a regular weekend occurrence around here.
 
#20 ·
Waking each other up with sex has been a hit ot miss for us.

I use to try and wake Mr. CR to blow jobs in the morning but he didn't seem crazy about it. He usually needs to go to the bathroom pretty badly in the mornings. But during the middle of the night, he's usually game for it. Or after he's been up for a few minutes and done his business/slightly more awake.

He's tried to do that with me in the morning, but I gotta go to the bathroom too. It's hard to enjoy when I'm worried about peeing. Lol

He's tried to wake me up to sex during the night but that only works out half of the time. Most recent time he tried I was so groggy and confused. One of his hands was down there, the other up at my chest. But I felt a third hand on my stomach, so I reached down to see if it was his package and it wasn't. But I still felt like there had been a third hand lol. So I started freaking out (kept it to myself) and thought maybe he brought someone home for a three way. I was scared to look behind him to see if someone else was there, it was pitch black in the bedroom. Finally I ended up asking him if someone else was in the bed and asking who did the third hand belong too. I was adamant about feeling like I was being touched in three places. Lol. He thought I was crazy.

After that, no more nighttime wakeups for me. :(
 
#29 ·
Waking each other up with sex has been a hit ot miss for us.

I use to try and wake Mr. CR to blow jobs in the morning but he didn't seem crazy about it. He usually needs to go to the bathroom pretty badly in the mornings. But during the middle of the night, he's usually game for it. Or after he's been up for a few minutes and done his business/slightly more awake.

:(
You don't mind giving him blow jobs? My husband has asked that I do something like this spontaneously, but it just seems weird.
 
#22 ·
My husband actually "suffers" from mild Sexsomnia (yes, this is a thing). He will initiate sexual content to varying degrees while he is actually asleep, and not remember doing it the following morning, or wake up during confused. I don't take advantage of these moments, occasionally I will allow him to shove my hand down his boxers and entertain his subconscious until I can wake him up, but I get nothing out of it. This sometimes leads to him already being awake and "upright", and if I happen to be awake enough and in the mood, then why not.

On the more directly related topic though, yes, we've woken each other up with foreplay. Typically it's me caressing his chest if I'm lying on it, or him caressing my thigh if we are spooning, and we can tell when the other person is beginning to wake up - at which point, we attempt further contact. Sometimes, the other party is too tired, other times, we have night sex.

I think it's normal, natural, and definitely okay - as long as the other person is fully aware and awake by the time things get serious, and obviously hasn't asked you not to try while they are asleep at any point.
 
#38 ·
Do you wake up your spouse or does your spouse wake you up? Would you feel violated/raped/molested or do you enjoy it? If you haven't woken up or been woken up this way by your spouse or SO, do you think you'd enjoy it or not?
We have in the past, yes. We would wake each other up occasionally for a nice roll in the hay and it was great. We both enjoyed it. Although, now with a toddler who is a bad sleeper, he knows better than to wake me up. I need my sleep(son has been waking up at night again) and would be upset if he woke me up for sex.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top