You bring up some good points. I don't think you have to be a great looking person to be considered Alpha. You can't be ugly, mind you, but I don't think you have to look like Hugh Jackman either.
I think being Alpha is in part a learned behavior for men. My father would be the Poster Child, if there was such a thing, for being an Alpha male.
He was a two sport star in college, president of his fraternity, married the head cheerleader, had an illustrious career with a prestigious company, then started his own business, made a ton of money and retired early at the age of 62 as a multi-millionaire.
He would have added being a professional baseball player to his resume if he hadn't thrown his arm out before he got called up to the Majors. Apparently, the common practice of 4 days rest between starts wasn't the norm for pitchers in 1960 and he pitched most every day.
Now I don't know how everyone would define Alpha but that would be it for me. Obviously, bedding a lot of women wouldn't be a criteria used in those days because that just wasn't common practice.
I also enjoyed athletic success, although not anywhere near my father's level, and played in college as well. Suffice it to say, I spent a lot of time around other Alpha males during that time as well so perhaps I could have a bit of a skewed perspective with regard to this topic.
If I backtrack a minute though, every guy that I knew, from adolescence on, would always dream of the big house, fancy car and beautiful wife at their side. When we got older and realized its importance, we would toss in a rewarding career or lucrative job as a goal to be added to the list.
Now achieving these things didn't necessarily make you an Alpha male but they were a good start. I can tell you that any and all talk on this subject always, and I mean always, involved a beautiful women at your side. It's how most guys measure one another. That's not to say that other things didn't count but if you had the most beautiful girlfriend, that pretty much trumped everything else.
Achieving that goal in whole or in part is what generates threads like this one. How does one do that exactly? It absolutely helps to be attractive and helps even more to be very attractive. One can have chiseled good looks or one can be moderately attractive, possess a magnetic personality or be supremely confident.
I believe one's attitude counts for just as much in becoming more Alpha. If one wants to be more confident, then they need to do things that build their confidence. First and foremost, they have to get in shape and stay in shape. They need to look as good and as sharp as they are capable of. Don't be afraid to try things. Put yourself out there in a leadership position or role of some kind. Go coach the community basketball team for example. These kinds of things can boost self confidence and you're doing some good in the community too. Working on yourself allows you to feel more in control and self assured and you can begin to project an air of strength and confidence.
It may sound kind of silly but I distinctly remember when I first got to high school that I spent considerable time working on my walk. I wanted to walk like a stud and project studhood (yep, I just made up a word). I looked around and saw what guy or guys I thought were cool and had their act together and then just emulated them. I didn't employ some sort of exaggerated gait because that would have just looked stupid. Rather I was subtle in what I did, you know, chest out and head up kind of thing with just a tad bit of swag to it. It didn't really matter if I believed I was in full stud mode. It just mattered that the girls did. My thoughts are that if your wife or SO things you're a stud, she's less likely to wander away.
So I do think someone can become more Alpha with some effort and attitude changes.
Mostly content, you mention several points in your post that I think are excellent. These points are aspects of the larger "Alpha" attributes in general, though there are subtle nuances to them that can have a huge impact on men's relationships and success in attracting women. I'll elaborate as follows:
(1): Looks--good looking, moderately good looking, etc. As you noted, it's a huge advantage for a man to be "very good looking": however, it's important to reiterate, this is a dynamic, a fluid range. A "average" man, maybe has a big nose, big ears, whatever characteristics that keep him from being at first glance, a model or such can still enjoy great confidence and social success with women by focusing on other elements--developing a strong, hard body that just makes the women blush: having the kind of toned body that inspires women so much, they gladly overlook whatever salient deficiencies he has. Secondly, as the old expression goes, "the clothes make the man". Dressing sharp, having a good haircut, smelling really good--all such details in his appearance can really add up to a lot of powerful attraction to him from women. Any man can do these things with focus, effort and motivation and benefit immensely. And for the ladies, again, it's not really about being an air brushed model with a Colgate perfect smile. Not at all.
(2): Attitude: here again, you hit on a key element that has deeper dimensions that enhance attraction from women, build confidence in the man, and payoff with greater success in every area of a man's life. Developing some social smoothness, broadening his sense of humor; developing tenacity, drive to complete goals; pursuing ambitions and cultivating success. Walking with swagger; being comfortable in diverse social settings; embracing some elements of social sophistication, from wines and cuisines, to travel, building/construction, clothes, colognes, history, and so on. A lot of elements for a man that is frustrated and struggling with women--even married men as well--that developing such knowledge and honing attitudes can generate greater success in life, and with women. Posted via Mobile Device