The Importance of Alpha? - Page 34 - Talk About Marriage
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post #496 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:01 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by GusPolinski View Post
Alpha is important, but so is beta. Balance is the key.
This.

I used to be a screeching and bossy wife. My husband's beta response to that was not helpful. The day my husband put me in my place and told me that he would leave if I didn't change was the best day for our marriage. Counseling and my decision to be more submissive unleashed the Alpha in my husband. Now we couldn't be happier. My husband knows when to turn on the beta and when to be Alpha.

I suppose the trick is learning the best times to bring out the Alpha and Beta.
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post #497 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:09 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Do you have to turn everything into a tirade against feminism? GTFO with that noise!

No one has said anything about feminism on this thread. But you, out of the blue, chose to insult feminists....FOR NO REASON! It's uncalled for.

Do us all a favor and keep your insults to the anti-feminist threads in the men's forum.
I have edited my comment to remove the reference to feminists.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #498 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:14 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by technovelist View Post
I have edited my comment to remove the reference to feminists.
Yes, apparently you chose you change the language to insult me. {sigh}. You do realize that what you did was a beta behavior as defined in NMMNG, don't you?


Oh well, so much for continuing the discussion on this thread.
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post #499 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:28 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Mostlycontent View Post
I actually didn't have to say anything to my daughter. She was already pretty and she had her mother as her role model. Her mother, my wife, has always maintained her beauty and stayed in wonderful shape.

Unless my daughter was obtuse, she noticed that her mother was exceptionally pretty so she likely connected the dots that men like pretty women. I don't know why that's a bad thing because it's the truth.

We all know that kids watch what you do and not what you say anyway. If both her parents modeled the importance of staying fit and looking good for one another, then I'd guess that she got that message. I'm all for being the best you can be for your mate or potential mate, whatever quality or qualities that might be.

My daughter married a good man and they've been happily married now for going on 8 years. Whatever we did, it seemed to work out well. I give the majority of credit to my wife for raising such a wonderful young lady.
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Originally Posted by technovelist View Post
There is a fourth option, which is that some women do not want men to learn how to attract women, because then those women might make the mistake of having sex with someone who is behaving as an alpha but is really a beta.

Thus, for these women, men are supposed to "just get it" (i.e., just be alpha), rather than learning how to act alpha, so that those women can avoid betas pretending to be alphas.

Greetings!

Tech, I agree man, that men can learn to be "Alpha"--but how would say for example, a "beta" man *act Alpha*?

If he's an emo hogbeast with poor hygiene and dresses like a Walmart reject, and he embraces "Alpha" attributes: develops more masculine attitudes, dresses sharp, improves his social skills and charm, improves his hygiene, and gets to the gym and becomes an iron beast, it seems to me that he has *become Alpha*. There is no *acting*. Does that make sense? These changes, in scope, we're talking 6 to 18 months, maybe two years, depending on how much of a hogbeast he was at the beginning. These are real changes, a total transformation. Help me understand, brother!
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post #500 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:34 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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poor idiots...my already low opinion of 'average' men has sunk to Mariana trench depth after reading this forum..carry on guys..I'm having fun.
Preferring to have a beautiful women does not make one an idiot. Quite the contrary actually as my wife has been an even bigger asset because of her appearance.

Tell you what, go find the most physically unattractive man you can find and marry him. Then you could come on this board and tell us all how physical attraction doesn't matter in order to be happy and you'd then have some credibility.

I'm betting that you and other women who are objecting to this approach would suddenly change your tune real quickly. Face it, we all want to be with someone we find attractive and don't purposely seek out those we find unattractive. That's just a silly argument by some that simply want to argue for no reason at all.
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post #501 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:36 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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And this brings me back to my original point that our experiences create our perceptions of what is and isn't truth. See IME, physical beauty has had very little to do with my ability to attract men to me.

I've said it before on TAM, I'm pragmatic enough to recognize that I'm just an average looking woman. Nothing spectacular about me. Not too thin, not too heavy (although I could probably lose a few pounds), curvy but in as much as women are supposed to be. Not necessarily a beautiful face, just.....average. Yet I've never had trouble attracting men. And when asked "How?", I honestly can respond "I don't know" but throughout my life people have told me there's just something about me. I like to think that it's my positive vibe. I'm generally happy and smiling.

I've also known men in my life who pragmatically speaking, did not meet the physical standard of an 'Alpha' as most of you define it to be, yet they have much success with women. Could it be the way they move their bodies or the look they convey in their eyes? Who knows but whatever it is, it works.

So this is my truth based on my life experiences as an average looking woman. I've always been my genuine self and have never had a problem attracting people who are compatible.

Greetings!

But Lila, *you* are obviously happy and content. There's lots of beta men that have problems attracting women. That's why it's important for those men to learn. Likewise, women that *arent successful* at attracting men need help. You're not either of those. 😄
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post #502 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:40 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Mostlycontent View Post
Preferring to have a beautiful women does not make one an idiot. Quite the contrary actually as my wife has been an even bigger asset because of her appearance.

Tell you what, go find the most physically unattractive man you can find and marry him. Then you could come on this board and tell us all how physical attraction doesn't matter in order to be happy and you'd then have some credibility.

I'm betting that you and other women who are objecting to this approach would suddenly change your tune real quickly. Face it, we all want to be with someone we find attractive and don't purposely seek out those we find unattractive. That's just a silly argument by some that simply want to argue for no reason at all.
Greetings!

"Poor idiots"? Wow, why such hostility and contempt? Just boggles me, my friend!
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post #503 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:52 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Centurions View Post
Greetings!

Tech, I agree man, that men can learn to be "Alpha"--but how would say for example, a "beta" man *act Alpha*?

If he's an emo hogbeast with poor hygiene and dresses like a Walmart reject, and he embraces "Alpha" attributes: develops more masculine attitudes, dresses sharp, improves his social skills and charm, improves his hygiene, and gets to the gym and becomes an iron beast, it seems to me that he has *become Alpha*. There is no *acting*. Does that make sense? These changes, in scope, we're talking 6 to 18 months, maybe two years, depending on how much of a hogbeast he was at the beginning. These are real changes, a total transformation. Help me understand, brother!
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Yes, all of the physical changes are important too, but the attitude changes are the key. And those are a case of "fake it until you make it" for many men.

Does that make sense?

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #504 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:54 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Centurions View Post
Greetings!

But Lila, *you* are obviously happy and content. There's lots of beta men that have problems attracting women. That's why it's important for those men to learn. Likewise, women that *arent successful* at attracting men need help. You're not either of those. 😄
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But Centurion, this is a chicken or the egg argument. Am I happy because I attract men or are men attracted to me because I'm happy? See what I mean. It's definitely not because I'm some beauty queen.

I've managed to stay happy because I didn't buy into the "all men only really want trophy wives/gfs" mentality even though that was the belief system where I grew up, S. Florida. If I'd bought that line of thinking, I probably would be very depressed and have huge body image issues.

I think there's a big price to pay when one forces changes to become someone they are not. There's a male poster on one of the other threads who just spoke to this issue.
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post #505 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 06:56 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Lila View Post
Yes, apparently you chose you change the language to insult me. {sigh}. You do realize that what you did was a beta behavior as defined in NMMNG, don't you?

Oh well, so much for continuing the discussion on this thread.
I made no reference to you at all.

And the reason I changed my comment was in response to your point about feminism not being the point of this thread. You were right about that, so my comment as originally posted was inappropriate to this thread.

Changing one's behavior in response to a valid complaint is not beta. Changing one's behavior in response to an invalid complaint is beta.

Always remember the LD motto: "Sex isn't important!!!"
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post #506 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 08:30 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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I do think physical appearance is very important and virtually millions of other men feel the same way. Other qualities absolutely matter but one never gets to them if they aren't first drawn to you because of attraction. I'm sure many would like to live in a world where physical appearance didn't count but that is not how it is nor has it ever been for thousands of years.
There's arecent article in the NYT (about a month ago) which reported on a study of couples. Can't remember the number of couples observed but the conclusion was that couples in which the looks were mismatched (ie a 9 with a 4, or something like that) were also couples who met in situations in which they had a lot of time together before they started dating...... like school, work, church, other social activities.

Couples who were more closely matched in looks started dating each other closer to the time that they actually met.
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post #507 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 08:39 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

Reading this thread is both funny and amusing. It' s like reading the script of a bad sitcom.

When some of you guys finally figure out the socio-sexual hierarchy, come back and try again!

But hey thanks for playing the game.

" Being betrayed is one of the most valuable lessons life can teach" Shania Twain
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post #508 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 08:55 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by technovelist View Post
There is a fourth option, which is that some women do not want men to learn how to attract women, because then those women might make the mistake of having sex with someone who is behaving as an alpha but is really a beta.

Thus, for these women, men are supposed to "just get it" (i.e., just be alpha), rather than learning how to act alpha, so that those women can avoid betas pretending to be alphas.
I find this post to be hilarious.

"Acting Alpha" and "being Alpha" are the same, unless decided by the person judging them.

How, exactly, is acting, different than being?
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post #509 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 10:04 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Mostlycontent View Post
That is exactly right. I am describing what the vast majority of men find important, particularly when I was in high school and college, and perhaps much beyond that. I thought I made that point very clear in my post.
So why are you accusing me of not understanding men when I repeat that this is what they care about?

Last edited by always_alone; 08-16-2015 at 10:14 PM.
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post #510 of 703 (permalink) Old 08-16-2015, 10:30 PM
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Re: The Importance of Alpha?

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Originally Posted by Lon View Post

So once you do withdraw from the ratrace you find yourself in the company of a whole bunch of other real people with similar values. We are the underbelly of society, few of us have the qualities that get glorified so their are not many high sex-ranked people here, nor strong personalities, and it is rare for us to make a lot of relationships, but when we do they are genuinely content ones where we are finally free to be ourselves. If you live in my segment of the population then howdy, but if you still play the sociosexual game, as anything more than an onlooker, you are not the underbelly class.
I'm thinking that being alpha is a whole lot of work: sounds to me you have to spend your day sizing yourself up against everyone out there to make sure you can keep justifying why you're so much better than everyone else.

I'm guessing the number of people who give a rat's a$$ about "socio-sexual hierarchies" are a decided minority.
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