Why Do You Oppose Porn Use? - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #91 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:21 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Masturbation without porn is entirely possible, people have done that for all of history. Porn as we know it is very very recent.


If 28,000 is recent, then you must be getting on a bit...

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post #92 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:28 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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So, in other words, men have such weak character and are so weak and pathetic that the only way they can avoid porne is if there woman takes the responsibility for their baser urges? Wow, how impressive lol

Itís not the only way. But itís a way...and Jesus was quite clear about it....when he said stuff about two bodies becoming one fatty blob and loving her neighbour, as she would love her husband...and making sure she turns the other cheek during spankings otherwise one side always gets too purple...
Itís a lot of plates to juggle for poor women. I donít envy them with all theses instructions and deeds they need to perform, that, I agree with you.


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post #93 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:42 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Itís not the only way. But itís a way...and Jesus was quite clear about it....when he said stuff about two bodies becoming one fatty blob and loving her neighbour, as she would love her husband...and making sure she turns the other cheek during spankings otherwise one side always gets too purple...
Itís a lot of plates to juggle for poor women. I donít envy them with all theses instructions and deeds they need to perform, that, I agree with you.


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I must have missed the part where He said it's okay to do something wrong as long as someone else does something wrong first. I guess I bought the non-PC Bible lol
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post #94 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:44 AM
 
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

Porn is like junk food. Okay on occasion. Too much of it and your health and wellbeing suffers. You find you're not eating the REAL food that your body craves. Pretty soon you have a pile of pizza boxes in your kitchen, you've gained 50 lbs, and you're miserable.

Some of us can have a slice of pizza and be okay for a while and not ever think about pizza again. Some of us have a slice, have five more slices, and then have more the next day. Booze is also another good analogy. I can have a cocktail and not think about it. Other people end up hiding vodka bottles around the house.

I wrote my thoughts on porn, and oh boy... lots of dudes sure didn't like it. More than one told me to F off with my nonsense. I think the first sign that a vice is a problem is if you get very defensive about it. These guys are addicts.

My thoughts on porn.

With all that being said, my wife and I enjoy watching it together. It's part of our sexy secret life... which includes several other things that shall not be mentioned.
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post #95 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:45 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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I think the first sign that a vice is a problem is if you get very defensive about it.
Yep
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post #96 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 09:55 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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I understand why they do it. I did not forbid my partner from using it. I donít ask them about it, I donít go looking for it, but I donít like it. If I find it I will be mad, especially if we are having problems in the bedroom or if I am being refused.
However... I have he higher sex drive in my relationship. I get denied sometimes, he never does. I masterbate more than him... but thatís ok Bc I never refuse him. Also I donít use porn.

I do not think itís good to always use porn when you masterbate period.

So short answer, yes I have a problem with it even if the spouse refuses. Using porn less than 50% of the time isnít a big deal.
@Girl_power all the people that get super defensive about porn are probably the ones that have a problem with porn and refuse to believe that there is a problem.

You have those that need porn to masturbate and in my opinion those are the folks that have overstimulated themselves and always require just a little something unrealistically novel to keep it going. Take away the porn and then they will struggle to get off and perhaps give up or decide it is not worth trying. In my opinion this is because porn has numbed the mind and destroyed almost all forms of sexual curiosity since they have seen it all with every possible porn star with any physical attributes you could imagine that is extremely well indexed, categorized, rated, and commented.

In my opinion those that require porn are using sexuality as a form of self soothing sexual medication. As in an escape from emotional pain, strengthening emotional barriers and avoiding vulnerability. Then in real life sex with a partner does NOT work that way. Sex with a loving spouse is about an emotional connection, allowing yourself to be vulnerable, and caring for one another.

However human sexuality by nature refuses to function on democratic rules of fairness. Once something becomes too comfortable, repetitive, and easy, well then it is no longer sexually stimulating. Ideally there has to be an element of something uneasy and difficult that pushes the relationship forwards sexually and promotes positive self development. So for this reason, problems with sex in a LTR should actually be embraced as an opportunity to make it that much better. You just need for both partners to be open and willing to engage in a meaningful argument versus running away and avoiding things.

This is written from the viewpoint to try and help the OP. So if you want to reply, the OP is someone struggling and trying to work on things regarding porn use in his relationship. Perhaps you would want to offer some words of encouragement.

Regards,
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post #97 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
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Why is masturbation fine but porn not?
In masturbation you are not including other people, in film or pictures. Its not adultery of the heart, but a physical release.
If you think about any person other than your spouse, even without pictures, isn’t that still adultery of the heart?

Are you saying that masturbation is okay but only if you are thinking about your spouse or no person at all?
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post #98 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:13 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by UpsideDownWorld11 View Post
Why is masturbation fine but porn not?
In masturbation you are not including other people, in film or pictures. Its not adultery of the heart, but a physical release.
If you think about any person other than your spouse, even without pictures, isn’t that still adultery of the heart?

Are you saying that masturbation is okay but only if you are thinking about your spouse or no person at all?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Or what about masturbating while watching your spouse in a porn ........ It gets complicated !
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post #99 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:27 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Originally Posted by CraigBesuden View Post
If you think about any person other than your spouse, even without pictures, isnít that still adultery of the heart?

Are you saying that masturbation is okay but only if you are thinking about your spouse or no person at all?


If thatís what you believe! No one knows what your thinking. If someone believes that lusting after someone else is sin, then they are responsible to hold themselves accountable.
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post #100 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:30 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

As a Christian person itís not my job to hold my boyfriend accountable for things he doesnít believe. I try my hardest to live my life as I believe it should be lived. I messed up all the time. I am responsible for my actions only.
As for my boyfriends behavior.... I set my boundaries of what I want/ donít want and what I will and will not tolerate. Just like he sets the same boundaries for me.
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post #101 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:33 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

Don't most people fantasize when they masturbate?

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Originally Posted by personofinterest View Post
I would assume it is because masturbation can be a purely physical stimulation that leads to release. Porne typically involves fantasizing or getting that release inspired by images of someone other than your spouse. In The Bible, Jesus says that if a man lusts after a woman other than his wife, he has already committed adultery in his heart. For those who claim to believe The Bible, that would mean that lusting to pornographia I and masturbating to pornography would be adultery of the heart.
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post #102 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:34 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Thatís mostly down to you though! Since Iím sure you provide great help with his...íflowí.
There are probably men that are not so lucky and it helps them (it also reduces incidences of rape and sexual violence. Not that it is normal to rape when you canít get a gf...).
Itís only a problem if you use porn instead of wife. And most men will find it to be a poor substitute. Except maybe catholicdad.


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Its honestly not down to me. Its down to him and his own values of what he sees as right and wrong. He didn't have sex till he first married at 25, was rejected sexually many times in his first marriage of 23 years, had a gap before we married and yet, he never used porn. He appreciates that porn is a temptation and struggle for many men which is why he doesn't want to even start looking.
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post #103 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:36 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
As a Christian person itís not my job to hold my boyfriend accountable for things he doesnít believe. I try my hardest to live my life as I believe it should be lived. I messed up all the time. I am responsible for my actions only.
As for my boyfriends behavior.... I set my boundaries of what I want/ donít want and what I will and will not tolerate. Just like he sets the same boundaries for me.
Yes, we were the same, and neither of us would marry a person who thought it was ok to watch porn because for us its a no no.
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post #104 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:38 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Don't most people fantasize when they masturbate?
You can fantasise about your spouse.
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post #105 of 502 (permalink) Old 07-11-2019, 10:39 AM
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Re: Why Do You Oppose Porn Use?

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Originally Posted by CraigBesuden View Post
If you think about any person other than your spouse, even without pictures, isnít that still adultery of the heart?

Are you saying that masturbation is okay but only if you are thinking about your spouse or no person at all?
In my opinion yes.
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