Yes I meant good sex, not something done grudgingly or with resentment.
If a person is doing sex grudgingly and/or with resentment, that's a passive-aggressive message...maybe?
It's like, I'm angry at you about something so I'm going to withhold enhancing or participating happily in your pleasure.
So...what are the possible messages there by the grudgingly submitting spouse?
1.) I don't want to have sex but if I don't, you'll be angry with me and want to fight about it.
2.) The foreplay is too short so I'm not going to enjoy this, therefore, I would like to just get this over with as quickly as possible.
3.) We're fighting and, to you, sex is going to make things better but to me, that's not true.
I don't know - ^^^^ I just made some stuff up ^^^^
As long as we're constructively exploring what is happening here, what do you guys think about that?