Does she have awesome orgasms from oral or vibrators now? If she does I think the concentration should be on making them more and more great for her. Like using a teasing system to get her all worked up along the way to an explosion. She often, not always, but often has amazing and sometimes multiple orgasms from oral. No real attempts with vibrators yet; she has one, but no inclination to use it. She's extremely inhibited about trying it on her own. She claims she's only masturbated a couple times in her life. Given her track record about truthfulness regarding sex, one might be skeptical, but I believe her on this one. She is really of the belief that great sex, or even pleasurable sex, is something done for her. It feels somehow wrong (immoral?) for her to do it on her own. But her MC is working on this. The MC sees her inability to relax and enjoy her body as a serious issue.
Some of us just don’t O from PIV, and in my experience, even if I add a vibe or something and get there that way, that type of O is not as good as just getting one without PIV. Trying to explain this, it basically confuses my body to have so much stimulation at once. So to get there I kind of have to force myself mentally, which is not ideal for me. I think PIV orgasms, or even pleasurable PIV, without some form of "extra" stimulation, is a virtual impossibility for her. I totally understand what you mean about having to force yourself mentally, and that not being idea. But you don't mind the fact that you can get the O orally, and it doesn't bother you that's just the way it is. It doesn't get in your way of enjoying PIV, even though no O. That does not describe my wife. Her view of PIV is highly tainted by the fact that there's no pleasure, no O, therefor something to avoid. I don't know if it's even possible for me to really explain this well.
She wants the big cannons going off so figure out how to do that without PIV. I've got that one taken care of. And that's the thing. You think, I think, most everyone here thinks, that ought to be enough. That ought to color the total sexual experience as pleasurable. I wish I could get there from here.
I get it, for a long time I wondered what was wrong with me that I don’t O from PIV. After lots of reading and understanding, I finally got it that this is just how I am wired and it won’t matter who, what size **** they have, or what else is added to the mix, it’s just not the way my body works. Once I accepted how my body actually IS I learned how to work with what I’ve got and make all of the awesome different things it CAN do be much better. When you think you are broken or that you must not be doing something right, it prevents you from knowing what you CAN do.As is often the case with your contributions here, you are totally sensible and I agree completely.
You said in the other thread she’s mostly physically focused (versus intimacy focused) and she wants that mind blowing O. Is it her that is also saying it has to come from PIV? Once I gave up that idea myself I found how to have mind blowing O’s in the ways that suit my body the best. I was with one guy who just couldn’t seem to understand that it was never going to occur just from PIV and it hurt his ego. I finally had to tell him that it was hurting MY ego that he couldn’t accept my body is the way it is and kept trying to compare me to women he had been with who did O from PIV. He did not say out loud that he was comparing me but why else would he be so insistent that it had to happen that way if it wasn’t because of previous partners reactions.My ego does not depend upon her having PIVO. My ego is hurt, badly, by her inability to see PIV (for me) as enjoyable not because she Os or not, but because it means something to me, her husband. It is so strange, if you think about it; oral given to me is off limits (wasn't the case prior to sex), but she's dependent upon it. She doesn't ask for it; it remains a responsive thing, but she often responds readily and eagerly. Like I said, her equipment works. To be slightly graphic, after she Os from oral, there is never a need for lube. She produces enough lube to last several sessions. The issues are upstairs, not downstairs.
If she’s the one who insists it has to be from PIV then yeah, try that vibe you posted on the thread. I have heard some good things about it. But I already know that even if it “worked” for me in the way you want it to, it still would not be as good as an O without the confusion my body experiences when trying to add a vibe to PIV.I'm thinking part of it is just trying something different enough that she could be made to believe it could work, and belief is everything here.
Another suggestion, one which you might not like or she might not, is to add some porn viewing together to your foreplay. I know its not romantic, but the same way porn will get a guys blood flowing quicker happens to women too (if they can be open to it) and that does tend to bring a better O.We looked at some "porn" while researching different positions, and she made it pretty clear it wasn't doing anything for her. Maybe it was the wrong type, who knows. Maybe it has to be the right time.