I feel like you want me to say something like, “wow the nerve of this guy to feel disappointed that his wife doesn’t love sexuality like he does”...
You've already had a million conversations with her. She knows where you're at, and she doesn't want it. At least right now. Whether that's in general or specifically with you is immaterial at this point.
Here's what you get to pick from:
1. accept her, stay in the current relationship under the current relationship agreement, and just make your peace with it.
2. accept her, leave the current relationship and find one more suitable.
3. accept her, stay in the current relationship but attempt to renegotiate the terms of it. Meaning, open it in some fashion.
None of those involve changing her in any way, shape, or form. Be disappointed all you want, but keep it to yourself. 90% of your fights are about sex. That's a ****ty thing to continually fight about. If she asks you what you want by all means tell her. But I get the sense she's not asking you, but you keep telling her. Blood from a stone, man.
You get to control exactly one thing in this world, and only one: yourself.
But I highly, highly
suggest you get the hell off her case about it, check your defensiveness at the door about it, and instead focus on your decisions, your actions, and your thoughts. Right now, you don't seem to be highly in control of any of those things. You're not a victim here. You made a choice. You keep making them every day you stay in this marriage.