I fully agree and I’ve completely stopped talking to her about it at all. That’s why I’m here! I was thinking / hoping there was something in ME that could change that just maybe (without talking to her about it) would allow her the freedom to let her hair down a tad more on the wild side, again, because I think there is that in her, albeit buried by cultural indoctrinations. I know full well that may never happen. Sad, but I’d accept that. I just wanted to see if there’s anything in ME that’s boxing her in.
She will be free to be who she is and who she wants to be when you stop focusing on her. She may not want to shed her culture. And if you love her, you must love her for who she is and not who she could be, if she would be who you wanted her to be.
I think what may be boxing her in is exactly what you want her to be.
If I push my wife towards something, she naturally resists. She's rebellious by nature, independent, strong-willed. She will not be controlled, she will not be owned. Just the other day, she said to me "you're mine." And I said to her, "and you're mine." To which she said "no, I'm not, I'm mine. But you're also mine." And I laughed and let it go.
Later that night, as we fell asleep, in a very quiet voice, she said "I'm yours, you know that, right?" and I held her and fell asleep.
Push, and she pushes back. Pull, and she pulls back. Let go... and she remembers what she really wants, and she happily eventually partners up with me.
As for sex, I've often found the following approach works best.
One, be at your best. Seek self-perfection in all aspects of your life. If not that, at least excessive self-acceptance. Be your best and be happy being who you are! Life is for living. Choose to be happy and to strive to grow.
Two, create the opportunity for sex, and the kind of sex you want. Meaning, be ready! Be clear on what you want if she asks. Have everything you want to have happen ready to happen. Create time for it, space for it.
Three, let go. Sex is literally an infinite possibility space. If she says no to one thing, be open to another. Don't be judgmental - never, ever judge what she wants or doesn't want. I have often been amazed at what someone would say no to and ask for later - be that hours later, weeks later, months or even years later! Simply by being the guy that doesn't judge her.
Four, if it's just not working for you and never will, then you gotta just bail. A life unlived is a life wasted. You only get one. If you need to let your freak flag fly proudly, and it just isn't gonna happen with her, then you have to call the ball here and let it happen with someone that wouldn't just accept you - but someone that would celebrate it.