Haven’t had sex in over a week - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
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Haven’t had sex in over a week

Now i know I’m probably going to get slammed because a week isn’t long and i understand people go months and years with out . But me and my wife usually have sex 3-7 times a week we both have a high sex drive . I don’t think it’s the fact that we not having sex i just don’t like to rejected. She was on her period a little over a week ago usually her periods last a couple days so if she comes on . On a Monday we are having sex by Wednesday. But i don’t know like the other night i was kissing her and she’s like i hope you don’t want sex tonight because i don’t want to. And i respect her , her wishes and her body but it’s just kind of new to me and it’s kind of annoying how should i deal with it? Should i ask her is everything ok? I am insecure about myself maybe that is playing a part but any advice ?
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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 11:48 PM
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Re: Haven’t had sex in over a week

Do not play that game where you beg and plead for a sex, it lowers your value tremendously. And paints you in a bad light. Get a hobby go to the gym. Go to a few basketball games go to the bar play pool. Sports bar watch a game. Or if all else fails hammer one out dude.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-04-2019, 11:54 PM
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Re: Haven’t had sex in over a week

The reason I say what l did is don't depend on your wife for your happiness, that's on you and egad man. If you can't live a week or two with out you need to get real. She's not a machine with a hole. Dude she's flesh and blood, is that all she is to you? If so you need some IC on sex addiction.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 12:06 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

OMG!!

Over a week?? How can you stand it?



I know, you are serious and it's an issue for you. It's been just a little longer for me. Like 8+ years longer. Sucks, but I'm alive and well.

Hope you get whatever is wrong figured out. It's better to figure it out early.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 12:17 AM Thread Starter
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Do not play that game where you beg and plead for a sex, it lowers your value tremendously. And paints you in a bad light. Get a hobby go to the gym. Go to a few basketball games go to the bar play pool. Sports bar watch a game. Or if all else fails hammer one out dude.

I actually do think i have a addiction to sex I’m going to therapist about it later this month
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 12:18 AM Thread Starter
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OMG!!

Over a week?? How can you stand it?

<a href="https://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Roll Eyes (Sarcastic)" >:-)</a>

I know, you are serious and it's an issue for you. It's been just a little longer for me. Like 8+ years longer. Sucks, but I'm alive and well.

Hope you get whatever is wrong figured out. It's better to figure it out early.
May i ask why do long
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 12:22 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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I actually do think i have a addiction to sex Iím going to therapist about it later this month
Honestly , that is good to hear.

If your not the object of your lovers heart, then your just an object.
If you think the grass is greener on the otherside it's not, what you see are the weeds.
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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 12:39 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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I actually do think i have a addiction to sex I’m going to therapist about it later this month
Well a lot of psychiatrists say there is no such thing. Maybe you just want lots of sex, but honestly you wont die after a week.
IF you are worried then ask your wife.
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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 04:04 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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Honestly , that is good to hear.
I can be very tense after a few days, it took me a long time to realise sex was the cure.

That said, I suspect it is like thinking your headache comes from not enough asprin. Perhaps you are tense normally for other reasons and depend on the sex to relax.
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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 05:12 AM
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Re: Haven’t had sex in over a week

Have you discussed this with your wife? What did she say?

A sudden change in libido could be an indicator of something serious - a health condition, depression, an affair, or some latent hostility towards you. Or it could be no big deal. If you were having sex every day or two and it has suddenly gone to a week, I think you should engage her in a a gentle, loving conversation to see if everything is OK with her.
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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 06:35 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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Originally Posted by James01 View Post
Now i know Iím probably going to get slammed because a week isnít long and i understand people go months and years with out . But me and my wife usually have sex 3-7 times a week we both have a high sex drive . I donít think itís the fact that we not having sex i just donít like to rejected. She was on her period a little over a week ago usually her periods last a couple days so if she comes on . On a Monday we are having sex by Wednesday. But i donít know like the other night i was kissing her and sheís like i hope you donít want sex tonight because i donít want to. And i respect her , her wishes and her body but itís just kind of new to me and itís kind of annoying how should i deal with it? Should i ask her is everything ok? I am insecure about myself maybe that is playing a part but any advice ?
How often is she having sex with her boyfriend and is she still videoing it for you?
Maybe sheís developed feelings for him and feels it would be cheating to be having sex with you.
Have you stopped cheating on her and gotten a job yet?

When someone says itís not the money itís the principle,itís always the money.

Last edited by Andy1001; 12-05-2019 at 06:40 AM.
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 06:39 AM
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Re: Haven’t had sex in over a week

@FalCod @Diana7 @Mr The Other @James01 @Tilted 1 @2ntnuf please check out this guyís history before giving him any advice.

When someone says itís not the money itís the principle,itís always the money.
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 06:42 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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@FalCod @Diana7 @Mr The Other @James01 @Tilted 1 @2ntnuf please check out this guyís history before giving him any advice.
Blimey.

Yes, time for him to tackle his many internal issues before being ready for a relationship.
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 08:42 AM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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May i ask why do long
Crushed by my own love for a woman who did not love me.

Physical health issues.

Mental health issues.

The mental health issues were in direct relation to the marriage and subsequent divorce and my own issues.

Oddly enough, my ex wondered why it has been so long when I talked with her. She had no clue what it means to feel as if someone is a part of you and then treats you like you are an after-thought. She was literally proud of her actions. Yet, she asked forgiveness. I tell you that so you can understand how different we were, and I did not know. She had me deeply fooled and deeply in love with her.

What is @Andy1001 trying to tell me @James01?

Edit: Don't let my post push you away. I read your opening post in the other thread. You need to take action, now. Go see a therapist. I think you have some self-esteem issues. The sex stuff may be a result of that and repressed natural attractions you can't help.

Don't feel like you are odd or weird. You have other issues and I would say, as long as you are both agreeing to these things of your own free will, then it's just a matter of no one getting hurt.

Yep, see that therapist and my intuition says you are going to end up much happier, both you and your wife.

That guy loves your wife and is acting like an AP. He wants to take her from you, but she cares about you. Does she love you? Not sure if it is Eros, but I think she at least feels brotherly love.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
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Last edited by 2ntnuf; 12-05-2019 at 09:24 AM.
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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 12-05-2019, 02:19 PM
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Re: Havenít had sex in over a week

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Originally Posted by James01 View Post
Now i know Iím probably going to get slammed because a week isnít long and i understand people go months and years with out . But me and my wife usually have sex 3-7 times a week we both have a high sex drive . I donít think itís the fact that we not having sex i just donít like to rejected. She was on her period a little over a week ago usually her periods last a couple days so if she comes on . On a Monday we are having sex by Wednesday. But i donít know like the other night i was kissing her and sheís like i hope you donít want sex tonight because i donít want to. And i respect her , her wishes and her body but itís just kind of new to me and itís kind of annoying how should i deal with it? Should i ask her is everything ok? I am insecure about myself maybe that is playing a part but any advice ?
How about you start by recognizing that it's not her job to manage your desires or your reactions to them?
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