What's on your mind - Part 2 - Page 187 - Talk About Marriage
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post #2791 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 06:35 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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I tell people to buy a dog.......
I agree! My dog is the only one who happily runs to the door to greet me - even if I only go out to the garage for 5 minutes. I can't see any man doing that.

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post #2792 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 06:47 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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I agree! My dog is the only one who happily runs to the door to greet me - even if I only go out to the garage for 5 minutes. I can't see any man doing that.
Ask yourself this.
If you lock your partner and your dog in the trunk of your car and let them out after five hours which of them is happiest to see you.
I rest my case.

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post #2793 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 06:47 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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I agree! My dog is the only one who happily runs to the door to greet me - even if I only go out to the garage for 5 minutes. I can't see any man doing that.
My STBX's dog does the same for me...and it's not even my dog!! LOL
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post #2794 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 07:16 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

@CharlieParker, yes - I also stay to have an outlet for my emoticon obsession.

Although I confess I now feel self-conscious for being called out as not married, even though this site has many divorced/single participants.
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post #2795 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 08:07 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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@CharlieParker, yes - I also stay to have an outlet for my emoticon obsession.

Although I confess I now feel self-conscious for being called out as not married, even though this site has many divorced/single participants.


Consider the source. Unless he's running around asking the many, many men who are single why they are on this site then he's just being passive-aggressive. Besides, it's no one's damn business. I suspect he knows that is exactly what a male would tell him.

My advice is to ignore.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.
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post #2796 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 08:36 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

Thank you. That makes me feel better.

It did strike me as a very odd question to ask, considering that the site has always been a mix - at least during my time here.


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Consider the source. Unless he's running around asking the many, many men who are single why they are on this site then he's just being passive-aggressive. Besides, it's no one's damn business. I suspect he knows that is exactly what a male would tell him.

My advice is to ignore.
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post #2797 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 09:00 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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@CharlieParker, yes - I also stay to have an outlet for my emoticon obsession.

Although I confess I now feel self-conscious for being called out as not married, even though this site has many divorced/single participants.
Thank you for the banana.

And thank you for sharing some of the reasons you’re not married, it is helpful.




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post #2798 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 11:32 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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Think about every time you've thought to yourself or uttered the words "I hope" where is that coming from?

"I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow" selfish
"I hope you like it" fear/insecurity
"I hope things will change" fear/apathy
"I hope I'm right" fear/insecurity
"Hope keeps me going" locked in fear which leads to apathy.


Next time you feel yourself about to say "I hope..." Think about what emotion you are experiencing in that moment and where your hope is coming from. There's your homework assignment.

What is the opposite of hope? Not despair, it's trust. With trust in yourself, trust in others, and trust in where you're going, you won't need hope because you wont be living in fear.
No, Dude, I don't agree with you. What you asked me to do is what I did before responding to your earlier statement. I'm an optimistic person. I'm not afraid of the rain, but I hope we have sunshine. If we have rain, I'll get out my jacket and be fine. If I hope things change, that doesn't mean I'm afraid if they don't.

I do not live my life in fear, but I am hopeful for my future, because I know that there are good things ahead, just as there were good things in the past and there are good things today. Does that mean I'm afraid of the difficult or even bad things? No, it doesn't, because I also know that I am strong and that there is usually good in every day, no matter how much evil may be seen.

"hope: to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence." This does not indicate fear at all. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hope?s=t
Looking forward to something isn't fearful. Maybe you are using hope in the place of wishing.


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post #2799 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 11:35 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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Thank you. That makes me feel better.

It did strike me as a very odd question to ask, considering that the site has always been a mix - at least during my time here.
I've never wondered why you are here. I figured it was to learn and to contribute, just like many of us.


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post #2800 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 11:46 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

Same for me.

I usually don't give it a second thought (an individual's why) and take people at face value.

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I've never wondered why you are here. I figured it was to learn and to contribute, just like many of us.


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post #2801 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 11:53 AM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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@CharlieParker, yes - I also stay to have an outlet for my emoticon obsession.

Although I confess I now feel self-conscious for being called out as not married, even though this site has many divorced/single participants.
I'm in what could be considered a successful lifetime marriage so I suppose I could get questioned (and I have been) about why I am here as well.

I came across TAM for one reason and found many other reasons to stay, read and keep posting. You are actually one of those reasons.

It is fun to socialize here where ideas are the currency.
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post #2802 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-12-2019, 12:03 PM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

You're very kind - thank you.

And I agree. The ideas and the mental stimulation are very enjoyable.

I'm thankful for all of you and for this site.

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I'm in what could be considered a successful lifetime marriage so I suppose I could get questioned (and I have been) about why I am here as well.

I came across TAM for one reason and found many other reasons to stay, read and keep posting. You are actually one of those reasons.

It is fun to socialize here where ideas are the currency.
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post #2803 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 06:28 PM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

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@CharlieParker, yes - I also stay to have an outlet for my emoticon obsession.

Although I confess I now feel self-conscious for being called out as not married, even though this site has many divorced/single participants.
Aww minimal…don’t feel self-conscious or let anyone shame you, whether they did so intentionally or unintentionally.

We all have something to contribute and learn from one another. Our unique experiences and perspectives make this place interesting and worthwhile (and hard to leave!)

Being currently married is not a prerequisite to posting here. This isn’t a “marriage site” per se, it’s a site to “talk about marriage”, which literally anyone can do.

Even the banner above the site states “The marriage advice and relationship help forums”. Advice and help are something anyone can give or need. And we all have relationships, whether marriage, domestic partnership, dating, friendship, familial, heck we even have a relationship with ourselves (perhaps one of the most important relationships we’ll ever have).

So I feel like there’s room and a place for any and all of us here. And I always appreciate the many different lifestyles, backgrounds, and viewpoints we have represented.

I don’t know why someone would “call out” another here for not being married or question why they're here, but try not to let it get you down.

Just keep being you and posting your point of view cuz it’s valued and so are you.
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post #2804 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 07:02 PM
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Aww minimal…don’t feel self-conscious or let anyone shame you, whether they did so intentionally or unintentionally.

We all have something to contribute and learn from one another. Our unique experiences and perspectives make this place interesting and worthwhile (and hard to leave!)

Being currently married is not a prerequisite to posting here. This isn’t a “marriage site” per se, it’s a site to “talk about marriage”, which literally anyone can do.

Even the banner above the site states “The marriage advice and relationship help forums”. Advice and help are something anyone can give or need. And we all have relationships, whether marriage, domestic partnership, dating, friendship, familial, heck we even have a relationship with ourselves (perhaps one of the most important relationships we’ll ever have).

So I feel like there’s room and a place for any and all of us here. And I always appreciate the many different lifestyles, backgrounds, and viewpoints we have represented.

I don’t know why someone would “call out” another here for not being married or question why they're here, but try not to let it get you down.

Just keep being you and posting your point of view cuz it’s valued and so are you. :-)

Thank you @Curse of Millhaven for the excellent post!! You have an amazing way with words
@minimalME, TAM stands for "talk about marriage" not " you must be married to participate here". And even then, we have other sub forums that have nothing to do with marriage. As long as the rules are followed, you, me, and everyone else (married or otherwise) is welcomed here.

Last edited by Lila; 10-13-2019 at 07:13 PM.
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post #2805 of 3446 (permalink) Old 10-13-2019, 07:18 PM
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Re: What's on your mind - Part 2

You guys are so sweet - thank you!

It's strange to be having this conversation now, after 7 years of posting. But, I do need to be better about not threadjacking.

The wicked part of me wants to follow @Rocky Mountain Yeti around to each of the non-marital threads and point out that they're non-marital threads. But I won't.
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