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post #31 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-23-2019, 10:49 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
I get what your saying but I’m not talking about being irrational. I’m taking about caring. My brother is the same way, never gets mad, couldn’t care about anything. He would never get mad at his wife for anything because nothing bothers him, it’s weird!
I'm sure he gets mad and upset plenty he just has a different way of dealing with things than you do. Doesn't mean he lacks passion or doesn't care.

I love this idea that losing control over your emotions is spun into a positive light. "I'm passionate about this!" Where someone else might be equally passionate about the same subject you are, yet maintains control over their emotions only to be judged as aloof.


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post #32 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-23-2019, 10:56 AM Thread Starter
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I'm sure he gets mad and upset plenty he just has a different way of dealing with things than you do. Doesn't mean he lacks passion or doesn't care.

I love this idea that losing control over your emotions is spun into a positive light. "I'm passionate about this!" Where someone else might be equally passionate about the same subject you are, yet maintains control over their emotions only to be judged as aloof.


I don’t understand why people are insinuating that anyone is losing control! I never said that. I am super practical, and I am on the spectrum. When something bothers me, it’s super normal and easy for me to talk about it. I don’t understand why some people can’t verbalize things, and verbalize how they feel, without feeling like it’s confrontational. I will never understand it.
I am on the spectrum. I have no problems verbalizing my feelings and my boundaries. I know that other people can’t read my mind so it’s not a big deal to speak.
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post #33 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-23-2019, 10:59 AM Thread Starter
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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I suppose casual sex can be confusing if both people aren’t on the same page.


I don’t know if I would call it causal sex. In my head... I wanted to date around, and get to know people and rule them out as I see fit with the end goal to find (hopefully) my future husband, or possible future husband.

There’s a saying... before your married keep your eyes wide open, after your married keep them half shut.
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post #34 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 05:26 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

You asked for thoughts.. I dig having chill people around.
They're like a mental hug that brings perspective, helps me to breathe and calm the funk down.

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post #35 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 05:50 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Here’s the timeline. We met on a dating app 6 weeks ago. We had sex after 2 weeks (5 dates later, and I initiated). Shorty after he wanted to officially be girlfriend and boyfriend, and I had a convo with him about it being too early but reluctantly said yes. He always makes fun of me for the reluctance. The day after we were official (week 3) he asked me to meet his parents and his family at a dinner birthday party for his mom in 2 weeks.
I feel like he was rushing the relationship excuse after week 2, he moved his toothbrush in, asked me to meet his whole family, and wanted to be monogamous.
Am I the only one seeing some red flags flying?

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post #36 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 08:50 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

From @Girl_power

Quote:
So for an example...
My boyfriend saw a text message from me to a friend saying that he is rushing this relationship and needs to pump the breaks. We never had a convo like this before so this was new info to him. His response was “that’s funny”. Then I said... do we need to talk about this? And he said do you want me to pump the breaks? And I said no. Then he said then we don’t need to talk about it. And that’s it, he wasn’t annoyed, and didn’t need to talk about it.
I would of been annoyed if the situation was reversed... my initial reaction would be... why are you telling this to you friend and not me?


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Originally Posted by Andy1001 View Post
It was funny to him because you spelled brakes wrong.
Uh, maybe not...

Pumping the breaks, with him stepping back from this stressful talk, him taking more breaks, getting, catching his breath.

He is seen running from conflict, avoiding, getting hot under the collar. Chuckling, taking all this lightly.

He is maintaining that hated cool, oh this, that which she so detests.

Ah hah! Such this, he projects, over her protests.

Huh? What?
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .........

Some lady bugs, in the heat of the moment, need to be warmly stroked, hotly stoked by their male others, those within their closest sphere.
With these hot, not cool cucumbers feeding the flames, lest she too, go cool.

Heaven forbid.

There are some many lady folks who enjoy the banter, the back and forth jousting, mental and physical.

They want the mental conflict, this becomes the foreplay for the foray that follows, under the soon dampened sheets.

With some, comes the mental battling, where the dominant gals takes the man to task, takes them down, at last takes them to bed.

Then they strip these men of their heat. And their hot juices.
Until, the next climate change, climax need.

.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................

At the extreme of this tendency, comes......

This, with some of these ladies, it becomes the deadly dance of the consummate, and man-consuming Black Widow.

Shortened to:
I want you, you must hotly resist, you will fail, I will eat, consume you at the end.
It will be my last warm supper, your last pleasure, your last suffering.






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This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out. The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall.
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post #37 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 08:52 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I'm sure he gets mad and upset plenty he just has a different way of dealing with things than you do. Doesn't mean he lacks passion or doesn't care.

I love this idea that losing control over your emotions is spun into a positive light. "I'm passionate about this!" Where someone else might be equally passionate about the same subject you are, yet maintains control over their emotions only to be judged as aloof.
The other thing to consider is that it is not bad for someone NOT to be passionate about a thing.
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post #38 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 09:47 AM
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Originally Posted by NobodySpecial View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDudeLebowski View Post
I'm sure he gets mad and upset plenty he just has a different way of dealing with things than you do. Doesn't mean he lacks passion or doesn't care.

I love this idea that losing control over your emotions is spun into a positive light. "I'm passionate about this!" Where someone else might be equally passionate about the same subject you are, yet maintains control over their emotions only to be judged as aloof.
The other thing to consider is that it is not bad for someone NOT to be passionate about a thing.
EXACTLY

I have to say, OP, you come off as somewhat shrill and hugh strong and intolerant of those who are not like you.
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post #39 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 11:34 AM Thread Starter
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Am I the only one seeing some red flags flying?


Please tell me what your thinking.
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post #40 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-24-2019, 07:29 PM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
Please tell me what your thinking.
The whole relationship has been rushed. After two weeks, he's leaving his toothbrush at your place etc. And, he makes fun of you for your hesitancy.

This guy can become a grade A clinger and harder to get rid of than a migraine. Do not let him move in. His being head over heels for you may be good for your ego; but, trust your instincts and do not give up your life for him.


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post #41 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-25-2019, 05:58 AM Thread Starter
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People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
The whole relationship has been rushed. After two weeks, he's leaving his toothbrush at your place etc. And, he makes fun of you for your hesitancy.



This guy can become a grade A clinger and harder to get rid of than a migraine. Do not let him move in. His being head over heels for you may be good for your ego; but, trust your instincts and do not give up your life for him.


I get what your saying. But on the other side I justify it by thinking maybe he just really likes me you know. Like some people “just know”. He also told me that dating in your 30s is not like dating in your 20s which I agree with.
I don’t know because I really like him and he’s a really nice guy.

I also don’t know why a man that is only 30 would rush a relationship.
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post #42 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-25-2019, 09:25 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Lol, what did the customer service guy do to earn such vicious hostility?
Haha, if I remember correctly ... My mom had purchased a TV at a retail store. A day later they called her to let her know she had to go back to the store to fix the order b/c the mailing address was wrong (the store was about an hour away). The claimed that the zipcode they had on file didn't match the town. She tried explaining to them it was their issue, they insisted she needed to come in, so she handed the phone over to me. Once again, I tried to explain to them it was their issue. They had the right zipcode, and if their system was attaching it to the wrong town that was their problem, go hop on a computer and look up the zipcode... They kept arguing that their system was right and my mom needed to come in. I can't remember exactly what the rep said to me, but he said something along the lines that there was something wrong with me, and that is when I threatened him (which probably didn't help my cause in proving there wasn't anything wrong with me lol) Quite amusing, probably the only time in my life I have even remotely threatened anyone, but it gave my W and Mom a good laugh so I guess it was worth it!

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post #43 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-25-2019, 09:46 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by EllisRedding View Post
Haha, if I remember correctly ... My mom had purchased a TV at a retail store. A day later they called her to let her know she had to go back to the store to fix the order b/c the mailing address was wrong (the store was about an hour away). The claimed that the zipcode they had on file didn't match the town. She tried explaining to them it was their issue, they insisted she needed to come in, so she handed the phone over to me. Once again, I tried to explain to them it was their issue. They had the right zipcode, and if their system was attaching it to the wrong town that was their problem, go hop on a computer and look up the zipcode... They kept arguing that their system was right and my mom needed to come in. I can't remember exactly what the rep said to me, but he said something along the lines that there was something wrong with me, and that is when I threatened him (which probably didn't help my cause in proving there wasn't anything wrong with me lol) Quite amusing, probably the only time in my life I have even remotely threatened anyone, but it gave my W and Mom a good laugh so I guess it was worth it!
Ellis, you left out the punch line - did your Mom have to go to the store to correct their error or not?

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post #44 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-25-2019, 09:47 AM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

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Originally Posted by Blondilocks View Post
Ellis, you left out the punch line - did your Mom have to go to the store to correct their error or not?
She still had to go to the store lol. Originally the plan was for me to go there with her, but after the phone call we agreed that was probably not a good idea

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post #45 of 49 (permalink) Old 03-28-2019, 10:22 PM
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Re: People who are very “chill”

chill
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