Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
The Social Spot Talk About Whatever.

User Tag List

 104Likes
Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #46 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-22-2019, 11:13 PM
Member
 
pastasauce79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 92
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

I'm doing some Kegel exercises while reading this thread, lol!

I had a very tight vagina before having kids. Sex sometimes was painful. It felt uncomfortable, even though I had the drive, I needed lots of lube and patience to make it enjoyable for me.

After having my first child I felt the difference. Sex was not uncomfortable anymore! It became a lot more enjoyable for me and my husband. He has never never mentioned any difference. The change is very minimal but very beneficial for me.

Sex to me is a combination of elements. I don't really care about penis size because I enjoy the flirting, the touching, the kissing... It's the whole act that makes it good. Not just the penis. Most of my female friends agree with me, so I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I met my husband when he was dating another girl. She had huge boobs! The first time we had sex I felt very self-conscious about my small boobs (I thought he was going to get disappointed once I took off my push up bra!) We had an amazing first time. After a few times, he said he loved my breasts! Size didn't matter

Would you be less happy with a woman who doesn't have a tight vagina or has small boobs?

It's not about disappointing someone with a body part, it's your attitude towards something that you have no control of (your natural penis size.) I don't understand it. Has this person said anything about your penis?

pastasauce79 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #47 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 04:52 AM
Member
 
heartsbeating's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Batcave
Posts: 7,826
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunCMars View Post
Honesty can be honestly painful.

One can deal more easily with tight facts, than wishes, later found slack.

Slack, still has measurable substance and any lack can be man-aged with due flair.

A tight mind is more satisfying than any slack tail.

It takes more than mere friction to hold a good man or a good lady.

It is the strokes, both to the Ego and to the [ergo below] that feel good, not the rubbing and chafing of two competing wills.

Seek the lover who practices that bumping and the caressing, not the heating and rapid speed boxer.

We are what we are, shame should not be any party.
Cleverly written!

Music belongs in a place with hearts beating and brains dreaming and people falling in love. - J.Buckley
heartsbeating is offline  
post #48 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 11:57 AM
Member
 
LisaDiane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 179
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by pastasauce79 View Post
It's not about disappointing someone with a body part, it's your attitude towards something that you have no control of (your natural penis size.) I don't understand it.

I totally agree with this!

And I've heard guys say, they just like BOOBS, bigger, smaller, whatever, as long as they get to touch them! Haha!!

And that's how I feel - and I imagine most women do too -- I'm just excited that I'm having sex, and that there is a part of my man's body that shows he's VERY excited by ME...!!! :-D
LisaDiane is offline  
 
post #49 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 01:42 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 1,010
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaDiane View Post
I totally agree with this!

And I've heard guys say, they just like BOOBS, bigger, smaller, whatever, as long as they get to touch them! Haha!!

And that's how I feel - and I imagine most women do too -- I'm just excited that I'm having sex, and that there is a part of my man's body that shows he's VERY excited by ME...!!! :-D
Boobs, clitoris, vagina, breasts, I really don't care about how each looks. What I care about is finding something I can stroke, caress, play with, that feels good TO HER.
Casual Observer is online now  
post #50 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 01:59 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 16,228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaDiane View Post
I totally agree with this!

And I've heard guys say, they just like BOOBS, bigger, smaller, whatever, as long as they get to touch them! Haha!!

And that's how I feel - and I imagine most women do too -- I'm just excited that I'm having sex, and that there is a part of my man's body that shows he's VERY excited by ME...!!! :-D
Boobs, clitoris, vagina, breasts, I really don't care about how each looks. What I care about is finding something I can stroke, caress, play with, that feels good TO HER.
While that sounds sweet and all, I want to be lusted after precisely because of how I look or how my body moves or how my hips curve or how my cleavage entices him or how juicy my kitty is or how lustrous my hair is or.... you get the idea.

It’s assumed he wants to touch me and make me feel good (have never had a partner who didn’t) but unless he makes it obvious to me, it is not assumed he is looking at me with lust and admiration of my physique. I want that and there’s nothing like feeling as if a man could devour you while he’s looking at you a certain way. Verbal compliments are great too but it has to show in his eyes. If he does not have eyes like that for me it’s just not very fun.

Him wanting to make me feel good does not actually make me feel special. He would want that with any lover. The way he looks at me does make me feel special because it’s me right there in his eyes, right now.
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #51 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
Yes a counselor would be good to discuss this with.

I just want to clarify something though. I have always done my kegels because it is a healthy practice. There was a whole decade in there during my first marriage when we basically never had sex. I did them anyway because it’s kind of like a nice workout. I simply enjoy the feeling of being nice and toned down there. I never did them “so that I could enjoy sex with an average penis”. That literally never even crossed my mind. It is only obvious now after a lifetime of doing them that it has benefited me in more ways than I ever anticipated.

Back to your original question...
Can I ask you the reverse? If you have been with a woman who is really tight, how can you have a good experience with one who is not as tight? Even if it’s the same woman pre and post childbirth. Did you not enjoy the sex after childbirth? I honestly don’t know the answer. Any man can answer. I’ve never asked men this question and it does seem relevant.
Got caught up in that other thread. Sheesh what a mess.

Thanks for helping.

First wife after childbirth was not as tight. It didn't feel as good. I had no clue how to tell her. Probably said some stupid things. I was young. I feel bad about that. Nothing I can do now. It took longer for me to get off. I had to close my eyes and dream about us and how it used to feel and her enthusiasm.

Alternately, blowjobs reduce the need to feel a tighter *****. Though, I don't get as much mental and emotional pleasure if she doesn't swallow. It's like a rejection of my essence.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #52 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:06 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 1,010
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
While that sounds sweet and all, I want to be lusted after precisely because of how I look or how my body moves or how my hips curve or how my cleavage entices him or how juicy my kitty is or how lustrous my hair is or.... you get the idea.

Itís assumed he wants to touch me and make me feel good (have never had a partner who didnít) but unless he makes it obvious to me, it is not assumed he is looking at me with lust and admiration of my physique. I want that and thereís nothing like feeling as if a man could devour you while heís looking at you a certain way. Verbal compliments are great too but it has to show in his eyes. If he does not have eyes like that for me itís just not very fun.

Him wanting to make me feel good does not actually make me feel special. He would want that with any lover. The way he looks at me does make me feel special because itís me right there in his eyes, right now.
Well yeah! Of course! And that's how I view my wife. She doesn't have the same curves or hips or cleavage you likely have; she's not someone who's going to look at herself in the mirror and think she's drop-dead gorgeous. Yet, I do. Sometimes at night I'll just prop my head up on my elbow in bed and look at her, for a couple minutes at a time. And behind that gaze is lust.

Which, unfortunately, she has very little appreciation of. And here's something to consider. If you loose your looks; if your reflection in the mirror is not what you think it should be, don't sell your man short and think he still doesn't see you as beautiful. Don't assume there's not lust and passion behind his eyes. I think that assumption kills a lot of romance and passion in marriage, when women think their husbands see them in that same light. Many, maybe most, do not.
Casual Observer is online now  
post #53 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:16 PM
Member
 
Faithful Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 16,228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Casual Observer View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
While that sounds sweet and all, I want to be lusted after precisely because of how I look or how my body moves or how my hips curve or how my cleavage entices him or how juicy my kitty is or how lustrous my hair is or.... you get the idea.

It’s assumed he wants to touch me and make me feel good (have never had a partner who didn’t) but unless he makes it obvious to me, it is not assumed he is looking at me with lust and admiration of my physique. I want that and there’s nothing like feeling as if a man could devour you while he’s looking at you a certain way. Verbal compliments are great too but it has to show in his eyes. If he does not have eyes like that for me it’s just not very fun.

Him wanting to make me feel good does not actually make me feel special. He would want that with any lover. The way he looks at me does make me feel special because it’s me right there in his eyes, right now.
Well yeah! Of course! And that's how I view my wife. She doesn't have the same curves or hips or cleavage you likely have; she's not someone who's going to look at herself in the mirror and think she's drop-dead gorgeous. Yet, I do. Sometimes at night I'll just prop my head up on my elbow in bed and look at her, for a couple minutes at a time. And behind that gaze is lust.

Which, unfortunately, she has very little appreciation of. And here's something to consider. If you loose your looks; if your reflection in the mirror is not what you think it should be, don't sell your man short and think he still doesn't see you as beautiful. Don't assume there's not lust and passion behind his eyes. I think that assumption kills a lot of romance and passion in marriage, when women think their husbands see them in that same light. Many, maybe most, do not.
When you said you don’t care what these certain lady parts look like, that sounded like it could be any lady and any parts and the individual look of any of them didn’t matter. So maybe I did not interpret that correctly.

You are probably right that lack of self confidence will cause a woman to not allow herself to be looked at with lust and admiration, and in your wife’s case that is undoubtedly true as you know her very well. That’s sad but it is on her to allow it or not.
Faithful Wife is offline  
post #54 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:18 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by notmyjamie View Post
Oh God...you're the guy I have to run and catch aren't you??? I've caught a lot of babies and a lot of Dad's in my time
I was always a smart ass. Anyway, I asked the nurse, "Why is she in a casserole dish under a heat lamp? Isn't she done, yet"?

I was darn close. My face must have been white as a ghost. The nurse asked if I wanted to sit. I told her I just wanted it to be over. I went home and showered after the first 10 hours of labor. I'd been up and working the day before and never got any sleep or a shower and I worked outside sweating and dirty. I felt gross. I cried when I stopped home. The neighbor was there and asked if all was okay. I broke down and sobbed. I did not hold the baby until I was sitting down in the room with my ex. I instinctively started rocking the chair and holding her close, smelling her and gently talking to her telling her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #55 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesclues View Post
I donít know if this will make sense or not but to me my husband ďfeelsĒ huge inside me, and I look at it and think it is the largest most glorious penis I have ever seen. But in reality he is actually average sized. I think it is because I am so wildly attracted to him. Meanwhile I thought my first husband was smallish and he did nothing for me. Again in reality he was average sized and actually a similar size to my current husband. But my negative feelings about him permeated everything. For me that is the brain being the largest sex organ - it isnít thinking about doing XYZ during the act, it is how I feel about the person overall. Same relative penis size, same vagina size, but different feelings of fullness and pleasure. I am sure some of the difference is skill, but I think it is mostly a mind thing.
Makes more sense now that you have explained. Thank you.


"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #56 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:26 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lila View Post
Your previous post was clear enough without the distasteful joke. I edited it for you to prevent a thread jack. We get what you're saying.
Thanks @Lila. It is tough enough to talk about without having to deal with prejudices. I don't want to seem like I am being insensitive. I know this is my problem. Hell, the whole world has children and keeps on going with no problem.

It's probably in my head. I just needed to understand some of this stuff I've never heard before from anyone. It helps me to let go of poor ideas and bad judgment.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #57 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:28 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 1,010
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
When you said you donít care what these certain lady parts look like, that sounded like it could be any lady and any parts and the individual look of any of them didnít matter. So maybe I did not interpret that correctly.

You are probably right that lack of self confidence will cause a woman to not allow herself to be looked at with lust and admiration, and in your wifeís case that is undoubtedly true as you know her very well. Thatís sad but it is on her to allow it or not.
No, I was very specifically addressing the only woman I love, not others. You definitely misread my intention. That's OK. I thought my context was clear, but there's a lesson in that isn't there? We see things through our own lenses. My wife sees herself in her mirror, not through my eyes. How does one change that?

Bringing this OT, I'd suggest that's relevant here. That for many, the "secret" to increasing a woman's satisfaction is to enable her to see herself through her husband's eyes, not her own. If my wife understood my view of her, physically, she might gain more self-confidence and passion. I don't think it's healthy for a man or woman to wonder what their partner could possibly see in them.
Casual Observer is online now  
post #58 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:35 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaDiane View Post
For what it's worth, my first husband was quite a bit bigger than my second husband -- I felt NO "lack" with the change-over or adjustment in feeling whatsoever, and there was less than a month switch-time.

As a matter of fact, I find the feeling of intercourse with my current "smaller" husband SO much (SOOOO SO much) more enjoyable.

I read an article written by a woman who wrote, "The only thing a large penis is good for is winning Penis Contests"....I always loved the way she put that!!

It's funny that a man's size "down there" makes guys as insecure as boob size does for women -- but no one can soothe these insecurities except ourselves, it has to come from within, because just like so many woman I know who are insecure about their bodies, NOTHING has been said to the OP that he will accept or that has helped him feel better.
My ex did a couple of things which really messed with my head. One was shortly before she left and the other was shortly after. I'd already been working on my issues and was feeling good about myself. These things just threw me back to square one. I haven't had a chance to talk to a counselor about them. Most of what I was talking about was getting over my love and pain. Now, I want to think of other things and date. I even found out I can talk to women and make them laugh, one on one. I just can't take the next step. This is part of the reason. I'm sure they don't give a damn(about size), just like most of you. I know it's me.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #59 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 02:54 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by pastasauce79 View Post
I'm doing some Kegel exercises while reading this thread, lol!

I had a very tight vagina before having kids. Sex sometimes was painful. It felt uncomfortable, even though I had the drive, I needed lots of lube and patience to make it enjoyable for me.

After having my first child I felt the difference. Sex was not uncomfortable anymore! It became a lot more enjoyable for me and my husband. He has never never mentioned any difference. The change is very minimal but very beneficial for me.

Sex to me is a combination of elements. I don't really care about penis size because I enjoy the flirting, the touching, the kissing... It's the whole act that makes it good. Not just the penis. Most of my female friends agree with me, so I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I met my husband when he was dating another girl. She had huge boobs! The first time we had sex I felt very self-conscious about my small boobs (I thought he was going to get disappointed once I took off my push up bra!) We had an amazing first time. After a few times, he said he loved my breasts! Size didn't matter

Would you be less happy with a woman who doesn't have a tight vagina or has small boobs?

It's not about disappointing someone with a body part, it's your attitude towards something that you have no control of (your natural penis size.) I don't understand it. Has this person said anything about your penis?
Well, I have a reputation for liking large boobs. Mostly, I just was joking and made some women very angry because they believed me. My first wife had Bs. I loved them. My second had Ds and I loved them. Aesthetically, I don't care for large boobs on a petite woman or small boobs on a larger woman. However, it wasn't their boobs that made me fall in love. Those were just the toys they brought with them. lol

Would I be less happy with a women who doesn't have a tight vagina or has small boobs? I think I answered the boob part above. The vagina part is tougher. It's like asking a woman if it's alright if her husband never stimulated her clit manually or otherwise. That would be tougher, but if there was a great deal of love and respect combined with openness and honest, it's possible to work through.

It would kinda suck though.

Has this person said anything? No, I haven't had sex in over eight years. I haven't dated in like forever. I think seventeen years when I met my second wife. So, I'm all messed up. I didn't even know how to approach any women. I had no clue how to talk to them. They talked to me and I didn't understand. I felt like an alien. I still do not understand sleeping with someone who I just met. I'm going to attempt it some day. I know, three days is good, but for me, that's fast. lol

If you read my last post here, you will understand a little more.

She came home three days before she left. She was supposed to leave on this day. She told me she would. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me upstairs telling me we had do have sex right now. I was totally out of my gourd. I thought she was leaving and didn't even like me. She wanted a divorce. She ended up ****ing me, but whatever she had in there before me was enormous and it just ****ed up my head.

Later, after she was gone, she told me I had a small penis. She gaslighted me so much, I nearly did go crazy. I had a nervous breakdown, for one thing. I didn't know up from down or left from right. So, I've got a hell of a lot of rebuilding to do.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
post #60 of 65 (permalink) Old 10-23-2019, 03:07 PM Thread Starter
Member
 
2ntnuf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 17,422
Re: Controversial Topic: Women's Satisfaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faithful Wife View Post
While that sounds sweet and all, I want to be lusted after precisely because of how I look or how my body moves or how my hips curve or how my cleavage entices him or how juicy my kitty is or how lustrous my hair is or.... you get the idea.

Itís assumed he wants to touch me and make me feel good (have never had a partner who didnít) but unless he makes it obvious to me, it is not assumed he is looking at me with lust and admiration of my physique. I want that and thereís nothing like feeling as if a man could devour you while heís looking at you a certain way. Verbal compliments are great too but it has to show in his eyes. If he does not have eyes like that for me itís just not very fun.

Him wanting to make me feel good does not actually make me feel special. He would want that with any lover. The way he looks at me does make me feel special because itís me right there in his eyes, right now.
I've only felt this way with a few women. It cannot be explained. I cannot force it. I don't know how it happens. I don't know where the feeling comes from. I just know it is. And, it's only when she is in the room or nearby. I'd like to find that again, but I'm deathly afraid of it. It's a powerful emotion/drive. I don't want to fall for the wrong person with that kind of feeling driving it. It gets confusing.

"I'm significant!! Screamed the dust speck." - Bill Watterson
"Youth is wasted on the young". - George Bernard Shaw

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
2ntnuf is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Closed Thread

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome