Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
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post #76 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 12:54 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

I think there are a helluva lot more factors in people staying single longer than they did back in my day. Certainly feminism could have a role, however, there are economic factors that cannot be overlooked. Right now, we are dealing with great economies, too bad that a lot of people have to have more than one job to make ends meet. People of my generation are not retiring like people of my parents' generation. Oftimes the economy forbids retirement, as it is just too expensive to retire. Therefore the jobs are not out there. Therefore, we are in a "gig" economy. My youngest was strung along with "contract" jobs after graduation. He was lucky in that he worked as a server all through school and was left with very little student debt. He also learned to go without sleep. He contracted for five long years, then the management at the top changed, and suddenly they do not want contractors. Think they offered the contractors a job? NFW. So, he undergoes a training program, I get him a part time job a night, and he completely changes careers. Gets picked up immediately after the training program and is killing it in tech sales. Meanwhile, the old contract job had to be undertaken by his former supervisor. Six months down the road and they are not doing well. Productivity sucks and senior management is now under fire for eliminating the contractors. They have tried calling them back, too bad that contractors have absolutely no loyalty to former customers and move on. His former supervisor has basically told him that if he comes back, he will be making significantly more than he is now, plus benefits and a long term commitment to his employment. We will string these bastards along for a few months and then make some decisions. I am waiting basically for one or two people at the top of his former contract to be terminated for the extreme idiocy of trying to go cheap. Sorry, I am a vengeful bastard, but as an executive, you live and die by your decisions. The economy has been hurt by large corporations treating human resources like cattle, ultimately disposeable. Is it any wonder that people as a whole are less likely to commit to a relationship when the future is questionable.


Say what you think and do what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.-Dr. Seuss
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post #77 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 01:25 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Most specifically not referring to our men and women serving in any of our military or national guard, we as a whole can't say thanks enough for their sacrifices and service.

But to the snowflakes of today's society.

We the people didn't do the snowflakes any favors by raising them to be self centered and "fragile".

Let's give them all "participation" trophys, and call it a day.

But I can say I didn't raise my boys that way, they're outstanding young men who shoulder responsibility and don't cry over little things, helpful to others, etc.
What snowflakes?

Using this definition: Snowflake is a 2010s derogatory slang term for a person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.

From my vantage point, in my mid 40's, the majority of 'snowflakes' I see are the aging boomers that got pandered to, had society crafted for them, were given benefits they don't acknowledge, and are now totally out of touch with the reality millennials now face as an outcome of their behavior. For example, they are inheriting a world of skyrocketing education costs (boomer cuts in education), skyrocketing real estate costs (boomers leveraging cheaply bought real estate as a retirement vehicle), costly climate change as a result of boomer industrialization, a wildly out of control national debt as a result of spending they didn't do, a pension system that won't be available to them, medical costs that don't scale in a system only designed to facilitate the wholesale extraction of wealth from the population, and a job market that no longer cares about the workforce in the kind of social contract that boomers took for granted.

And that's just economics.

On a personal note, I have a number of millenials working for me. Man, do they work hard and in surprising ways. I got a total re-TCO assessment on a multi-million dollar project from one of them while she was on vacation in central america - which she also used to cut a deal for one of her entrepreneurial side gigs. Wow. While the last time I went to a supermarket, a 60s something women walked right in front of my wife in line at the check-out, and when called out for it, laughed at both my wife and the check-out person, saying "she's paid her dues and it's time for everyone to move aside for her."

This is not to say that some of today's youth is checked out, can't be bothered, and just want things for free. My own nephew is like this. However, he's like this because of his parents that coddled him and are now disturbed by their own creation. My son, who's 7 years younger, is actually more mature, responsible, and capable of basic life skills than my nephew. That's just parenting.

At any rate, if the youth of today feels entitled, it's likely because it's the parents of today encouraged them to be. But I think a lot of what shows up as entitlement is actually a reaction to a system that had them screwed over coming out of the gate, and they've decided not to play by our rules. And that's what the next generation - any generation is supposed to do.
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post #78 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 02:25 PM
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I also think that the new generation are selfish. They think about their needs and what they want and live their life that way.
I am just pro marriage. I think kids need a stable loving homes with 2 parents. I think the family unit is sooo important.
They also witnessed a skyrocketing divorce rate. Half of them are probably not keen on that happening to them when they see the damage left behind first hand. Sadly, there is nothing stable about a 2 parent home anymore. After divorce, the only stability for kids is going back and forth between houses. I think some just say no thanks.
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post #79 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 02:38 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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They also witnessed a skyrocketing divorce rate. Half of them are probably not keen on that happening to them when they see the damage left behind first hand. Sadly, there is nothing stable about a 2 parent home anymore. After divorce, the only stability for kids is going back and forth between houses. I think some just say no thanks.
Marriage, job security, pensions, investments, real estate, even what nations mean... there is very little that is stable any more. Safety nets are gone. Social structures now really only serve the ones that already got served. All the while, the current generation going into the job force gets insulted because they don't trust the way their grandparents or parents did things, and are finding their own way, playing by their own rules.

It would be hard to be a 20-something today. Harder than it was for me to be sure, and I'm a gen-x'r, and I remember the anger at boomers having to live in their entitled shadow. Now we're the entitled ones, too... and the boomers are still here, saying and doing boomer things.

Give these kids some slack.
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post #80 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 02:45 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

It's the same stupid argument that has existed for hundreds of years. Older closed minded people saying "kids today are no good". Same thing that was said about them by the same types then.

The only difference I see because of gains in technology/medicine/food safety is they are healthier and smarter.
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post #81 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 03:50 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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It's the same stupid argument that has existed for hundreds of years. Older closed minded people saying "kids today are no good". Same thing that was said about them by the same types then.



The only difference I see because of gains in technology/medicine/food safety is they are healthier and smarter.


Weíre not healthier or smarter. Weíre dumber, and we are living sicker longer.
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post #82 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 03:53 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

I think kids today are more spoiled then ever. Back in the day kids were expected to respect adults. Adults were allowed to Discipline other children. Now parents donít even discipline their kids.

When I was going I would shovel peopleís driveways and mow their lawns to make extra $$. Kids today donít have to work to get money, theyíre parents buy them whatever they want. The amount of money adults spend on their kids for birthdays and holidays, and even the tooth fairy is ridiculous.
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post #83 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-27-2019, 04:37 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Adults were allowed to Discipline other children.
Yikes! Hopefully you can see why this should not be ok anymore, or at least not allowing just *any* adult to discipline your child. Hell no, I do not want some other adult to decide how and when to discipline my child.

Now, if you just mean the kid is getting wonky at the grocery store and bumps into an adult's shopping cart because they aren't paying attention, and the adult grumps at them or tells the kid to watch where he is going, then sure! By all means tell my kid to shape up if he needs it or if he invaded your space.

But when I was a kid they could beat you with a wooden paddle at school, without consulting the parents first. They called it getting a "swat" but in reality you got more than swatted (you got beaten!) and you got it more than once. As we all know now, adults are not always "right", they are not always sane, they do not always have your kid's best interest at heart, and sometimes they are predatory or sadistic.

I remember thinking this was stupid and outrageous when I was a kid, that teachers were allowed to do this and that parents knew it would be allowed. They could literally beat us and this was ok????

That ended very shortly after I left elementary school, THANK GOD.
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post #84 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 09:50 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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I think kids today are more spoiled then ever. Back in the day kids were expected to respect adults. Adults were allowed to Discipline other children. Now parents donít even discipline their kids.

When I was going I would shovel peopleís driveways and mow their lawns to make extra $$. Kids today donít have to work to get money, theyíre parents buy them whatever they want. The amount of money adults spend on their kids for birthdays and holidays, and even the tooth fairy is ridiculous.
Many adults squandered that privilege when abusing and sexually abusing kids.
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post #85 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 09:54 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Many adults squandered that privilege when abusing and sexually abusing kids.


Ok I mean family members and close friends who frequently watch your kids. I think itís so hard when your watching kids (to be nice) and the kids are out of control and you canít do anything about it because itís ďnot your placeĒ.

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post #86 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 10:21 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Originally Posted by Girl_power View Post
I think kids today are more spoiled then ever. Back in the day kids were expected to respect adults. Adults were allowed to Discipline other children. Now parents don’t even discipline their kids.

When I was going I would shovel people’s driveways and mow their lawns to make extra $$. Kids today don’t have to work to get money, they’re parents buy them whatever they want. The amount of money adults spend on their kids for birthdays and holidays, and even the tooth fairy is ridiculous.
I was taught to respect adults. Even when they didn't deserve it. Later in life, this turned out to be a very large mistake.

I have taught my kids to respect adults... until they don't deserve it. Then you stand up for yourself. If another adult attempted to discipline my children - including other family members - there would be hell to pay. And that has happened. Partly because the number of times my children have needed to be disciplined by others is zero, but also because I raise my children, not some rando on the street or even my idiot brother in law that thinks they know best.

My kids mow the lawn, shovel the walks, help do home repairs, cook dinners (youngest is something of a gourmet), know how to drive, babysit as side gigs, etc, etc, etc... and I don't think I'm alone in this.
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post #87 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 10:27 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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But when I was a kid they could beat you with a wooden paddle at school, without consulting the parents first. They called it getting a "swat" but in reality you got more than swatted (you got beaten!) and you got it more than once. As we all know now, adults are not always "right", they are not always sane, they do not always have your kid's best interest at heart, and sometimes they are predatory or sadistic.

I remember thinking this was stupid and outrageous when I was a kid, that teachers were allowed to do this and that parents knew it would be allowed. They could literally beat us and this was ok????

That ended very shortly after I left elementary school, THANK GOD.
I got 'the strap' more times than I could count in junior high and elementary. Usually for fighting. My mom flipped out when it would happen - especially when I was defending myself (I was small for my age until high school, and had skipped a grade to boot).

My kids still don't believe that the principal wasn't just allowed to hit me, but he had a custom built piece of rubberized leather to do the job. We had to hold our our hands, and he'd whack it across your palm. If you pulled your hand away or made a big emotional deal about it, you'd get more straps.

I think the last time it happened when I was 13 or so, I got about a dozen straps - and I did it while staring at the principal in the eye, not wavering or showing any emotion or pain. I think it rattled him a little. When he was done, he was the one that was shaking, not me. I asked him if he was done, he said yes, and I left with another note to bring home.
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post #88 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 01:23 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Ok I mean family members and close friends who frequently watch your kids. I think itís so hard when your watching kids (to be nice) and the kids are out of control and you canít do anything about it because itís ďnot your placeĒ.
Ok I get what you are saying. But keep in mind that family members also sexually and physically abuse kids they are close to and alone with. Itís still a slippery slope to fully trust another adult like that. One of my cousins was molested by our uncle, and he also had the ability and position to discipline her. So he would spank her if he felt she was out of line, as if discipline was part of a loving corrective action. Well when the same man also molests you, how can any of that be ok?

Obviously her parents did not know this went on, but honestly looking back on it they should have been far less trusting and should have seen some signs.

Do you have kids yet? If not, you may feel differently about this when you do.

As for watching other peopleís kids, Iíve done so countless times and was able to tell them to knock it off or put that down or stop being a jerk to each other. This type of correction should always be ok if a child is in your care. Why wouldnít it be? However, if their parents were present I never said those things as it is the parents place to do that.

I have grandkids and their mom letís them get very rowdy and loud, and they taunt each other and argue a lot. She just doesnít even hear it anymore. So when we are all together and the kids are acting up, I let their mom say something if sheís going to. She usually doesnít and the kids are rowdy. When they are with just me, I tell them to knock it off and behave because grandma donít take no chit and only happy behaved kids get to hang out with me. They are always good for me at this point, but they are also getting more mature and able to handle boredom without melting down on each other. They have learned a lot though about who will and who wonít tell them to behave. Kids are master manipulators, of course.
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post #89 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 01:29 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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I got 'the strap' more times than I could count in junior high and elementary. Usually for fighting. My mom flipped out when it would happen - especially when I was defending myself (I was small for my age until high school, and had skipped a grade to boot).

My kids still don't believe that the principal wasn't just allowed to hit me, but he had a custom built piece of rubberized leather to do the job. We had to hold our our hands, and he'd whack it across your palm. If you pulled your hand away or made a big emotional deal about it, you'd get more straps.

I think the last time it happened when I was 13 or so, I got about a dozen straps - and I did it while staring at the principal in the eye, not wavering or showing any emotion or pain. I think it rattled him a little. When he was done, he was the one that was shaking, not me. I asked him if he was done, he said yes, and I left with another note to bring home.
They beat us on the ass with a huge wooden paddle. I never got a swat myself but I was outraged that our parents allowed this to happen. I would feel bad for the kids who got it because part of it seemed perverted somehow too, having to bend over and present your ass to be beaten by some random teacher.

Thank god this is illegal now. No adult in school is ever allowed to touch the children like that!! Nor should they have ever been allowed. Adults are sick sadists and will find ways to be in a position to do things like this to kids or anyone weaker than themselves. Itís just wrong on so many levels.
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post #90 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-28-2019, 04:34 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Is this b/c single men make less money, or b/c they save more?

Regarding earnings, single men make considerably less than married men, make something close to married women and slightly more than single women.
I think that is confusing cause and effect.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
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