Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 05:52 AM Thread Starter
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Post Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

https://cnsnews.com/news/article/bar...re-not-married

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(CNSNews.com) – Seventy percent of American males between the ages of 20 and 34 are not married, and many live in a state of “perpetual adolescence” with ominous consequences for the nation’s future, says Janice Shaw Crouse, author of “Marriage Matters.”

“Far too many young men have failed to make a normal progression into adult roles of responsibility and self-sufficiency, roles generally associated with marriage and fatherhood,” Crouse, the former executive director of the Beverly LaHaye Institute, wrote in a recent Washington Times oped.

The high percentage of bachelors means bleak prospects for millions of young women who dream about a wedding day that may never come. “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com. “They’re not understanding how important it is for the culture, for society, for the strength of the nation to have strong families.”

She pointed out that there’s “no data” to back up the common assertion that a lack of jobs during and after the Great Recession is the primary reason so many young men have been reluctant to tie the knot. “The problem with marriage was long before that,” she pointed out.




ype="node" title="Unmarried males

After decades of feminism, Crouse noted that young men are now the ones who set the parameters for intimate relationships, and those increasingly do not include a wedding ring.

“And I know the feminists just yell and scream if you say anything like this, but time was, girls set the cultural morays, the standards, the parameters for intimate activity. The girls were the ones that set those boundaries. And now it’s the guys who do,” Crouse told CNSNews.com.

“And it’s doubly terrible because the colleges now are predominantly female. So you have some – up to 60 percent of the student bodies are female. And almost all of them are more than 50 percent female. And so the ratio [of] male/female is out of sync.

“And that means the girls have to live by the guys’ demands. And that means less romance. They don’t date. The girls, I have talked to numerous young women, lament the fact that they don’t have the opportunity to dress up and go out for an event.”

Young women who adhere to a moral code and refuse to participate in the “hook up” culture are now considered social misfits, Crouse pointed out. And they face even more daunting odds of finding a husband than their promiscuous sisters.

“It’s really interesting, because Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker wrote their book, “Premarital Sex in America,” what, three, four years ago. And even then, they were very concerned about the fact that young women today are not as likely to get married. And their prospects, if they are not sexually promiscuous, are really low because the guys, if they can sleep around, they’re not interested in going with the girls who don’t put out.

“The ones who are very serious get married early. And that leaves the majority of the girls, then, by the time they’re 25 and into their first jobs, the pickings are very, very slim for them. And Mark Regnerus was very, very clear that the quote ‘good girls’ are the ones who are at risk now in terms of not being able to get married.”

According to 2014 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, 7.9 million opposite sex couples in the U.S. live together but are not married. A 2014 study by Johns Hopkins University also found that 57 percent of children born to women aged 26 to 31 are out of wedlock.

Crouse says the decline in marriage and a corresponding rise in cohabitation is happening despite at least a decade of research demonstrating the societal benefits of two-parent families.

“Even researchers from the left are coming out very strongly for the family and for marriage, and saying the two-parent family is necessary for children to do their best," she told CNSNews.com. "It’s not just good for them, it’s the very best. It’s the gold standard. It’s essential for children to reach their potential. And that has to be communicated in the popular culture."

According to “projections based on census data, when today’s young adults reach their mid-40s to mid-50s, a record high share (25%) is likely to have never been married,” Pew Research noted in a 2014 study documenting the decline of marriage in the U.S.

But men are not entirely to blame for the steep decline in marriage, Crouse pointed out. “A lot of women fear marriage. While feminism is a spent force, the ultimate consequences of that philosophy is a whole generation of women who don’t want any man to tell them what to do, and don’t really understand the give and take that is necessary for a marriage relationship.”

However, the box office success of movies like American Sniper, which features a very masculine Navy SEAL, is an indication that women still respond to strong men, she said.

CNSNews.com asked Crouse if that means the cultural pendulum has finally swung back in the male direction after decades of feminism.

“That’s not certain yet,” she replied. “There’ still a lot of anti-male stuff out there.”

Feminism has largely achieved its goal of equality in the workplace, so the movement has “lost relevance” for young women who are now earning more college and professional degrees than men, she pointed out. However, feminism’s effects on the culture – including the historically low marriage rate - will linger for some time to come, she noted.

“Feminism was supposed to bring women happiness,” Crouse said. “But the research shows that women today are much more unhappy then they have been in the past. They’ve ended up with far more opportunities, but their personal happiness is way down.”



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post #2 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 06:22 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

I love the bullpoop attention grabbing click bait title.

Let me re-title this article.

"70% of young men aren't married because they're either single and mingling or living together without marriage."

Also, I'd like to point out to Crouse that unmarried parents who live together in committed relationships are providing two parent family Gold Standard upbringings for their kids.

Additionally, freakin DUH! Society started telling men and woman they should spend their 20's and early 30's getting educated, starting careers, paying down debt, traveling, "finding themselves", and dating because they "have plenty of time" and "30 is the new 20!" Of course these people aren't getting married util later in life! We've pretty much been telling them marrying "young" in their 20's is irresponsible and that they need to accomplish ABC and D before even thinking about marriage and kids.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #3 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 06:29 AM
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Right wing nuts have lots of their own “news” websites.
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post #4 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 06:33 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

Your user name is perfect.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.
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post #5 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 07:48 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

I might not write this one off without consideration.

I've been seeing some similar trends and, anecdotally, it has been happening fairly similar to the article in the area my sons are living in.

I will reiterate something I've said in the past, this trend will just leave more women for men like me and my sons.

Both my sons had zero problems attracting women who really wanted a committed relationship with them.

My oldest screwed up and passed on a very accomplished woman to eventually marry a rather mean lady but he had his choice.

My oldest son is in logistics and has no college education. His wife has a degree.

My youngest son is in construction, has no college education and is engaged to a lady who almost has her bachelor's degree and is continuing her education to become a nurse.

Traditional men are more in demand than ever so, while I understand on some level what is going on with young men, it doesn't change some basic desires in women.

My sons and I aren't intimidated by capable and educated women. They are still women with the same desires and needs women have always had.

I don't think my oldest son's marriage is going to make it but that is because she is abusive. Odds are really good for my youngest. His fiance really loves him and appreciates how hard he works for his family.

If my oldest gets back on the market, he won't have trouble finding another mate.

I do think there is a trend similar to what is portrayed in the article, that is happening.

I don't think the answer is to worry about turning back the clock or even paying that much attention to what current feminist (large spectrum here) are talking about.

I do believe laws and opportunities should be as egalitarian as possible.

In the meantime, men who aren't too touchy about things and work hard with traditional values for themselves, seem to have little difficulty finding women who want to commit to them regardless of education levels.

Last edited by ConanHub; 11-21-2019 at 08:13 AM.
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post #6 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 11:22 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

I don't know, I think there might be something there. Anecdotal evidence only, but I have a couple of data points:

1. My dad - until he met his current live-in GF, he refused to have any kind of LTR. We talked about it one night over a whiskey, and he just kind of said "why would I bother? I have a number of friends that are women that would come by right now if I wanted. Here's a handful of women that I go on non-romantic, but companionship kind of fun dates with. Here's another handful of women that I just have sex with. And here's yet another that I do both with. So if I was feeling lonely, or bored, or in the mood, I just text and someone comes over." Now, he did meet a woman that he's living with... but even then, they're just monogamish and both occasionally see other people in a variety of contexts. She wants to get married, and he doesn't. We'll see who wins.

2. My nephew - he watched my mom get divorced, his mom get divorced and remarried, me get divorced and remarried, and how easy it is to get laid or to date casually if he wants... so he just doesn't bother. Relationships seem like they're just friendships to him that include romance or sex when he feels like it. Everything's low effort, zero work, very transactional, and very temporary. Think 'uber eats' for dating and sex. You want something, and it comes to your door. And then it goes away without any fuss or mess. I asked him once why he doesn't go out and date, and he just kind of said "why would I? If I want someone to come over, someone will. And then they leave and I go on with my life the next day."

Romance is in a weird, liminal state, I think.
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post #7 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
I don't know, I think there might be something there. Anecdotal evidence only, but I have a couple of data points:

1. My dad - until he met his current live-in GF, he refused to have any kind of LTR. We talked about it one night over a whiskey, and he just kind of said "why would I bother? I have a number of friends that are women that would come by right now if I wanted. Here's a handful of women that I go on non-romantic, but companionship kind of fun dates with. Here's another handful of women that I just have sex with. And here's yet another that I do both with. So if I was feeling lonely, or bored, or in the mood, I just text and someone comes over." Now, he did meet a woman that he's living with... but even then, they're just monogamish and both occasionally see other people in a variety of contexts. She wants to get married, and he doesn't. We'll see who wins.

2. My nephew - he watched my mom get divorced, his mom get divorced and remarried, me get divorced and remarried, and how easy it is to get laid or to date casually if he wants... so he just doesn't bother. Relationships seem like they're just friendships to him that include romance or sex when he feels like it. Everything's low effort, zero work, very transactional, and very temporary. Think 'uber eats' for dating and sex. You want something, and it comes to your door. And then it goes away without any fuss or mess. I asked him once why he doesn't go out and date, and he just kind of said "why would I? If I want someone to come over, someone will. And then they leave and I go on with my life the next day."

Romance is in a weird, liminal state, I think.
Well here are my two examples.

One daughter, one son, both early 30’s.

She got married young and now regrets it deeply because the guy is a loser. She’s now dating a great guy who is the opposite type from her ex husband and they have a lot of fun doing everything from home repairs to shopping at ikea to beach trips. They also have sex all the time apparently.

My son, not married but says he will one day. Has lots of women in his life, sometimes exclusive girlfriend, other times just FWB. They go dancing, traveling, out for drinks. Also he has sex all the time too apparently.

So why do my kids examples counts any different than anyone else’s? My daughter was burned by marriage and likely won’t do it again. My son plans on doing it when he feels the time is right. There’s no scary thing like “oh no all the women want to be married but no men will do it because they are all stunted” in my anecdotes. Just two normal young people doing normal young people things.
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post #8 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 11:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
I don't know, I think there might be something there. Anecdotal evidence only, but I have a couple of data points:

1. My dad - until he met his current live-in GF, he refused to have any kind of LTR. We talked about it one night over a whiskey, and he just kind of said "why would I bother? I have a number of friends that are women that would come by right now if I wanted. Here's a handful of women that I go on non-romantic, but companionship kind of fun dates with. Here's another handful of women that I just have sex with. And here's yet another that I do both with. So if I was feeling lonely, or bored, or in the mood, I just text and someone comes over." Now, he did meet a woman that he's living with... but even then, they're just monogamish and both occasionally see other people in a variety of contexts. She wants to get married, and he doesn't. We'll see who wins.

2. My nephew - he watched my mom get divorced, his mom get divorced and remarried, me get divorced and remarried, and how easy it is to get laid or to date casually if he wants... so he just doesn't bother. Relationships seem like they're just friendships to him that include romance or sex when he feels like it. Everything's low effort, zero work, very transactional, and very temporary. Think 'uber eats' for dating and sex. You want something, and it comes to your door. And then it goes away without any fuss or mess. I asked him once why he doesn't go out and date, and he just kind of said "why would I? If I want someone to come over, someone will. And then they leave and I go on with my life the next day."

Romance is in a weird, liminal state, I think.
It’s kinda like Julia Robert’s line in the movie Pretty Woman.
“Men don’t pay hookers for sex, they pay them to leave afterwards

When someone says it’s not the money it’s the principle,it’s always the money.
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post #9 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 11:50 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

20 - 34 is a stupid range for such a study

Would like to see:

20-25
25-30
30-35
35-50

My guesses would be:

20-25 94% Never Married
25-30 67% Never Married
30-35 47% Never Married
35-50 12% Never Married

2/3s dead!
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post #10 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 11:51 AM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Originally Posted by Marduk View Post
I don't know, I think there might be something there. Anecdotal evidence only, but I have a couple of data points:

1. My dad - until he met his current live-in GF, he refused to have any kind of LTR. We talked about it one night over a whiskey, and he just kind of said "why would I bother? I have a number of friends that are women that would come by right now if I wanted. Here's a handful of women that I go on non-romantic, but companionship kind of fun dates with. Here's another handful of women that I just have sex with. And here's yet another that I do both with. So if I was feeling lonely, or bored, or in the mood, I just text and someone comes over." Now, he did meet a woman that he's living with... but even then, they're just monogamish and both occasionally see other people in a variety of contexts. She wants to get married, and he doesn't. We'll see who wins.

2. My nephew - he watched my mom get divorced, his mom get divorced and remarried, me get divorced and remarried, and how easy it is to get laid or to date casually if he wants... so he just doesn't bother. Relationships seem like they're just friendships to him that include romance or sex when he feels like it. Everything's low effort, zero work, very transactional, and very temporary. Think 'uber eats' for dating and sex. You want something, and it comes to your door. And then it goes away without any fuss or mess. I asked him once why he doesn't go out and date, and he just kind of said "why would I? If I want someone to come over, someone will. And then they leave and I go on with my life the next day."

Romance is in a weird, liminal state, I think.
Great points!!!

I also want add that the effects of porn and next generation sex dolls (and parlors) and virtual reality, there is VERY LITTLE motivation for guys (and girls) to go through the rigors of a relationship.

I've always wondered WHY "forward-thinkers" want to convince me, as a woman, that to be "free" and true to myself sexually, I have to embrace the worst of male behaviors...?? It's baffling!!! Being a FREE, "WOKE" woman means that I see my real value, and I don't ever give anything away to someone who doesn't also see my value - just like real, admirable men would do!

And there is nothing that Feminism can do to change the BIOLOGY of human beings...meaning, truly satisfying, pleasurable sex for women has an emotional component...not so for men. I don't see that as making me "weaker" as a woman - in fact, I think I'm stronger than most men I've seen!!! I hold immense power in my family with my husband and two grown sons, and one daughter - intervening with love and explaining the value of emotional intelligence allows me to fundamentally change them and the dynamics in our family...and consequently, the world! I wouldn't give that power up for any amount of money, or recognition!

Without women to lead the way, with emotions and connection, relationships will suffer. That's not sending myself back to slavery to men and society's "expectations", that's me KNOWING and embracing myself, and loving and using my real strengths!

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post #11 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 12:24 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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And there is nothing that Feminism can do to change the BIOLOGY of human beings...
I don't know why feminism is seemingly blamed for everything? I'm a feminist and also know literally hundreds of other feminists and not one of us wants to change the biology of human beings, nor do we want to end the union of marriage. Men are the ones who make all of the excuses for having so much porn, not women. How is this women, specifically, feminist's fault?

Yet again women are blamed for men's bad behavior.

In the meantime, I don't see young women wandering around aimlessly and crying because they can't find husbands. This is perhaps happening to specific individuals, but for the most part, I see young men and young women who are waiting until they are older before getting married.

When I see any propaganda article like the one linked above, I just blow it off because it comes from the same source that wants to blame women for everything in the world. When there are actually non biased articles on this topic which look at the young people directly (not just blame feminist women) and drill down into why BOTH men and women want to wait for marriage longer, these are much closer to reality.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/29/w...ps-dating.html
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post #12 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 01:50 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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My daughter was burned by marriage and likely won’t do it again.
I guess what I'm wondering is that given that many - or even most - have either been burned by marriage, or been close to someone that has during their formative years...

Plus the apparent relative ease in today's convenience culture to just get an itch scratched without any burdens, effort, or commitment...

Maybe in the future it will be the norm for people just not to bother at all? Maybe marriage will be a weird archaic practice in a few generations?
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post #13 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 01:54 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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Great points!!!

I also want add that the effects of porn and next generation sex dolls (and parlors) and virtual reality, there is VERY LITTLE motivation for guys (and girls) to go through the rigors of a relationship.
I don't think that stuff will really take off, personally, but what do I know?

I do think that a functioning holodeck - a-la Star Trek - would be the last invention of mankind though.

Quote:
I've always wondered WHY "forward-thinkers" want to convince me, as a woman, that to be "free" and true to myself sexually, I have to embrace the worst of male behaviors...?? It's baffling!!! Being a FREE, "WOKE" woman means that I see my real value, and I don't ever give anything away to someone who doesn't also see my value - just like real, admirable men would do!
What's the "worst" of male behaviours that you're talking about?

Quote:
And there is nothing that Feminism can do to change the BIOLOGY of human beings...meaning, truly satisfying, pleasurable sex for women has an emotional component...not so for men. I don't see that as making me "weaker" as a woman - in fact, I think I'm stronger than most men I've seen!!! I hold immense power in my family with my husband and two grown sons, and one daughter - intervening with love and explaining the value of emotional intelligence allows me to fundamentally change them and the dynamics in our family...and consequently, the world! I wouldn't give that power up for any amount of money, or recognition!
Sounds like you're an egalitarian, and so is your family? Which to many feminists (myself included), makes you a feminist? I personally don't think feminism seeks to change people's biology?

Quote:
Without women to lead the way, with emotions and connection, relationships will suffer. That's not sending myself back to slavery to men and society's "expectations", that's me KNOWING and embracing myself, and loving and using my real strengths!
I think we need humans to lead the way, not any particular gender or sex, personally. In my view, women are almost identical to men, only more so.
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post #14 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 02:02 PM
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In my view, women are almost identical to men, only more so.
You need to find a new place to pick up women !!!!
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post #15 of 92 (permalink) Old 11-21-2019, 02:07 PM
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Re: Bachelor Nation: 70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

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You need to find a new place to pick up women !!!!
I don't mean the innie and outie bits that make things fun.

I mean in mindset, thinking, approaches to relationships, and sex.

For example, I was always confused by my buddy's preconceptions that girls somehow don't like sex and you need to somehow get them to fall in love with you to get naked. All I found is that you needed to not be an *******, be straightforward, and just ask them to get naked, and often enough they would.
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