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post #61 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-25-2020, 11:56 PM
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I see what you are saying. I don’t think hobbies in general make someone mature or immature, it’s the decisions made in those areas that can be mature or immature. If someone told me they enjoyed mountain climbing in general, I wouldn’t think it immature, but to do it in a foolish fashion, such as during the time I described, certainly shows a level of immaturity. Unless I’m mistaken, the general definition of immaturity is one who acts emotionally or intellectually like someone younger. I believe we should all gain knowledge as we age.

Maybe an 18 year old novice mountain climber wouldn’t know better than to climb that mountain under those conditions, but I would think someone in their 40s or 50s should know better, thus, being immature if they let their emotions or lack of knowledge lead them on.

As for you joining in on the thrashing, I’m fine with it. I enjoy sharing points of view and exchanging ideas.
There's circumstances that may dictate specific choices made. Or rather, the likelihood of those choices being made. If I didn't live that person's life, I can't really judge their actions and decisions when it comes to a situation such as the one you described. Many highly experienced outdoorsman have simply gone missing. Some of those people who died on that mountain were very experienced climbers. Its a difficult challenge and the risks are there regardless of when you go.

Every time I plan a backpacking trip, im going. I don't care what the weather does or what dangers are added due to factors outside of my control. I don't own a gun, never carry bear spray, no gps transponder or sat phone... I pack as light and with as little as I possibly can. I HATE having anything in my pack that I don't use. My first aid kit is also my repair kit which is also my emergency fire starting kit. Its duct tape. Haha. If I ever die backpacking, oh well. It won't matter anymore cause I'll be dead, so I won't have a single worry at that point. The thing is, I spent money on that trip already. Food I don't eat unless I'm backpacking, I took time off work, set it all up to go in advance. So I'm going, doesn't matter what is happening. Thats here in the states. If I setup a trip to another country and spent a bunch of money, I'm going. Doesn't matter what is happening. If I die, so be it. Sucks for everyone else I guess.

Maybe I'm immature. Oh well.
Personally, I would by definition consider that immature and irresponsible if you make up your mind you’re going to do something regardless of what might change to make it dangerous, I don’t consider that very mature in definition. Just your wording that “if I die, so be it., and “it doesn’t matter what is happening,” It’s almost as if you are boasting about how little attention you would pay to being safe and logical. I’ve spent a lot of time around youngsters, and that logic sounds like something I’ve heard from middle to high school age people, thus by definition, is immature. I’m not saying that to cause irritation, but just my opinion.

One way I have of determining an adult’s maturity is to ask whether I’d want them as a supervisor of my children when they were young. I remember when I was a kid, there were adults that my parents would have trusted my safety with 100%, and there were some they wouldn’t have. I noticed the same when I had children.

Just knowing what you have expressed here, I would certainly hope my kids wouldn’t end up on a hiking trip with you.


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post #62 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 12:14 AM
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Re: Immaturity

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Personally, I would by definition consider that immature and irresponsible if you make up your mind you’re going to do something regardless of what might change to make it dangerous, I don’t consider that very mature in definition. Just your wording that “if I die, so be it., and “it doesn’t matter what is happening,” It’s almost as if you are boasting about how little attention you would pay to being safe and logical. I’ve spent a lot of time around youngsters, and that logic sounds like something I’ve heard from middle to high school age people, thus by definition, is immature. I’m not saying that to cause irritation, but just my opinion.

One way I have of determining an adult’s maturity is to ask whether I’d want them as a supervisor of my children when they were young. I remember when I was a kid, there were adults that my parents would have trusted my safety with 100%, and there were some they wouldn’t have. I noticed the same when I had children.

Just knowing what you have expressed here, I would certainly hope my kids wouldn’t end up on a hiking trip with you.
I hike solo. You are describing a situation in which obviously I would make different choices. For the record, I'm a paratransit driver. So I'm charged with the safety and care of people with disabilities in the third worst driving city in the country. But yeah, based on how I backpack solo, that totally makes me less than ideal to be in charge of the safety of children. That makes complete sense and is totally a logical conclusion to reach. Boy that big ol brain of yours is really firing on all cylinders today.

Do you think a superiority complex is immature?

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Last edited by TheDudeLebowski; 01-26-2020 at 12:21 AM.
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post #63 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 12:36 AM
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Personally, I would by definition consider that immature and irresponsible if you make up your mind you’re going to do something regardless of what might change to make it dangerous, I don’t consider that very mature in definition. Just your wording that “if I die, so be it., and “it doesn’t matter what is happening,” It’s almost as if you are boasting about how little attention you would pay to being safe and logical. I’ve spent a lot of time around youngsters, and that logic sounds like something I’ve heard from middle to high school age people, thus by definition, is immature. I’m not saying that to cause irritation, but just my opinion.

One way I have of determining an adult’s maturity is to ask whether I’d want them as a supervisor of my children when they were young. I remember when I was a kid, there were adults that my parents would have trusted my safety with 100%, and there were some they wouldn’t have. I noticed the same when I had children.

Just knowing what you have expressed here, I would certainly hope my kids wouldn’t end up on a hiking trip with you.
I hike solo. You are describing a situation in which obviously I would make different choices. For the record, I'm a paratransit driver. So I'm charged with the safety and care of people with disabilities in the third worst driving city in the country. But yeah, based on how I backpack solo, that totally makes me less than ideal to be in charge of the safety of children. That makes complete sense and is totally a logical conclusion to reach. Boy that big ol brain of yours is really firing on all cylinders today.

Do you think a superiority complex is immature? <a href="https://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" >:-)</a>
The only information I had was what you described about your hiking trip, which sounded like a youngster trying to wow someone, so that’s what I was basing it on. It still amazes me that in your opinion a person who attempts to do things logically has a superiority complex. I assume you have a good driving record. If you described to others how to drive safely, does that mean you have a superiority complex?

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post #64 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 03:03 AM
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Re: Immaturity

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The only information I had was what you described about your hiking trip, which sounded like a youngster trying to wow someone, so that’s what I was basing it on. It still amazes me that in your opinion a person who attempts to do things logically has a superiority complex. I assume you have a good driving record. If you described to others how to drive safely, does that mean you have a superiority complex?
I'm only going off of your own wording like what I quoted before. If you wish to not come across as someone with a superiority complex, choosing your words differently would be a logical solution. Wouldn't you say? Comparing mountain climbing to drinking bleach is totally a logical argument btw. I can tell you are a man of great reason.

As far as your question, it would depend on my choice of words I think. If I'm coaching others for success with respect, no I wouldn't say that means I have a superiority complex. If I use my driving record to prop myself up above everyone in an attempt to prove how superior I am to them, while simultaneously explaining how to do things properly as I see it, yes that would be a tell tale sign of a superiority complex. Use that big ol logical brain of yours now. You could have answered that question yourself undoubtedly.

Here's a fun one. I fully admit I'm rather immature when I can be. Wouldn't the mature man have walked away from this back and forth by now?

Here I'll give you an out. Just cause I'm so friendly. I have bested you at this immature battle of nonsense. Which makes you the more mature person. Your superior logic and reason won't allow you to stoop to the levels of the unfledged, such as myself. However, my inarguable inferiority to your vastly superior logic, reason, and therefore maturity, allows me to be a shade more clever than you. See, now we both win.

If my devils are to leave me, I'm afraid my angels will take flight as well.

Last edited by TheDudeLebowski; 01-26-2020 at 03:30 AM.
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post #65 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 08:58 AM
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Re: Immaturity

I was told I was very mature from an early age about 19 or so.

Having thought about it this was because at at early age, 19/20 I fell into a very responsible position where I was very literally responsible for the health and safety of a team of six employees at a foundry so I grew up quickly.

Some people never fully mature as they are ASD or have other developmental problems.


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post #66 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:21 AM
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The only information I had was what you described about your hiking trip, which sounded like a youngster trying to wow someone, so that’s what I was basing it on. It still amazes me that in your opinion a person who attempts to do things logically has a superiority complex. I assume you have a good driving record. If you described to others how to drive safely, does that mean you have a superiority complex?
I'm only going off of your own wording like what I quoted before. If you wish to not come across as someone with a superiority complex, choosing your words differently would be a logical solution. Wouldn't you say? Comparing mountain climbing to drinking bleach is totally a logical argument btw. I can tell you are a man of great reason.

As far as your question, it would depend on my choice of words I think. If I'm coaching others for success with respect, no I wouldn't say that means I have a superiority complex. If I use my driving record to prop myself up above everyone in an attempt to prove how superior I am to them, while simultaneously explaining how to do things properly as I see it, yes that would be a tell tale sign of a superiority complex. Use that big ol logical brain of yours now. You could have answered that question yourself undoubtedly.

Here's a fun one. I fully admit I'm rather immature when I can be. Wouldn't the mature man have walked away from this back and forth by now? <a href="https://talkaboutmarriage.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="" title="Wink" >:-)</a>

Here I'll give you an out. Just cause I'm so friendly. I have bested you at this immature battle of nonsense. Which makes you the more mature person. Your superior logic and reason won't allow you to stoop to the levels of the unfledged, such as myself. However, my inarguable inferiority to your vastly superior logic, reason, and therefore maturity, allows me to be a shade more clever than you. See, now we both win.
I wasn’t actually trying to prop myself up. I don’t need to prop myself up among a group of people that I’ve never even met. If my description seemed a bit bold, it was only because I assumed it would be an item most agreed on. It reminds me of a friend who once told me that he made a statement about people showing respect at graduations, and everybody jumped in against him. He said it was if he spoke about the unpleasantness of sitting across the dinner table from a nose-picker, and everyone jumped in to tell him how he should have enjoyed it.

I apparently hit a sore spot with you, which wasn’t my intention. I had a doctor ask me once if i smoked. When I told him no, he said, “Good, that’s one of the stupidest things a person can do.” Being that I don’t smoke, I didn’t mind his comment. The winning team doesn’t usually complain about the refs do they?

Concerning the superiority complex, it’s obvious by the tone of your posts that you feel you are superior to me. You’ve sarcastically mentioned my superior brain, you wrote, “I have bested you.......,” “my inarguable inferiority,” and “allows me to be a shade more clever than you.” Maybe I should have included those phrases with my initial post.

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post #67 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:52 AM
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Re: Immaturity

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I totally agree with your last statement. I worked full time from 18, married at 19, we bought our first home at age 20 and I had my first child at 21. Thought nothing of it, and many others did the same. Had 2 more children in my 20's and moved to a larger home at age 24.
Well done to you for that.

I will defend the younger generation and myself though.

I was at college and graduated at 20. I was working in a factory at 21 and paid the rent for the flat. I would often represented the workforce to the management (whom I got on well with), which in hindsight was rather precocious. But was not going to be in a position to buy a house for the foreseeable future.

I spent my twenties hearing that if my generation settled for a more modest car, modest place to live, went out for fewer meals per week, stopped the weekend getaways and went for more modest annual holidays, we would buy a house and be less immature. I personally avoided debt as much as possible, but did not have a car, did not eat out, did not have weekend getaways nor had annual holidays, but when most of my net salary was spent on rent on a room in a flat (this was with a responsible job that used my PhD), this was just not possible.

I was thirty when I got a job that meant I could start to save substantially, and at that point long term relationships were suddenly available.

Men that are fortunate enough to get decent jobs early on will often get married earlier. If I could bring my level of maturity to my 18 year old self, it would still take about twelve years to be wealthy enough to be "mature". No amount of maturity would have bought me a larger house at 24.
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post #68 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:53 AM
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Re: Immaturity

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-snip- For example... If I am seeing a man in his early 30s who has never been married and has no kids but he is immature... do you think he will become mature after marriage/kids? Or do you think this is going to be him for life? -snip-
you are thinking like this:

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a guy becomes mature when he meets the right woman - who can fix him properly
or he will have a breakdown and run far away
If you want a fix it up project buy a house. if you want a relationship find someone compatible.

Some other thoughts on maturity:
An adult is really just a kid with all of the fun knocked out of him.
Unlike men, government bonds eventually mature.
Maturity is the ability to carry money without spending it, To work without supervision, and to bear and injustice without wanting to get even.


some very serious life advice @Girl_power : Stop giving adults chores.
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post #69 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 09:55 AM
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Re: Immaturity

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I was told I was very mature from an early age about 19 or so.

Having thought about it this was because at at early age, 19/20 I fell into a very responsible position where I was very literally responsible for the health and safety of a team of six employees at a foundry so I grew up quickly.

Some people never fully mature as they are ASD or have other developmental problems.
My early experience at work was similar.

But, most people use the word mature to mean rich. Or they cannot tell the difference. I speak as someone who is considered "mature".
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post #70 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Immaturity

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This shows how the definition of maturity varies among g people. After I later gave my response some thought, I just knew someone would jump in and start defending the mountain climb. I like to think my brain functions allow me to see the danger and ignorance in doing something that absurd, but apparently, doing something crazy like that is not considered immature, but itís ďliving.Ē

I canít understand why my viewpoint agitated you so much. One would think you were among the climbers. Just because I think that was an absurd stunt, I think Iím better than everybody else?


I have lofty bucket list goals like running a marathon and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.
Hereís the thing... I hate running, Iím terrible at it, Iím accident prone. When I ran my first half marathon I was so happy and proud of myself. I trained really hard, for a really long time. Not a lot of people can do it.

Iím my opinion Mount Everest is ridiculous. I would never want to climb it. Mt Kilimanjaro however is different, itís more realistic and itís something I can really accomplish and work up to. Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro will be the pinnacle of my climbing. But for those who can easily climb mt Kilimanjaro... I can understand them wanting to climb mt Everest.

Itís dumb for people to go from a 5k to a marathon. To their local mountain to mt Everest.

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post #71 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:13 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Immaturity

@southbound for me... I canít help but look up to people who do things that I find hard to do. And things that require consistency and effort. I live in a very cold east coast city... and right now itís freezing and snowy and I see people outside running everyday. Older people and younger people. I drive to work at 6am and there are people outside running in treacherous conditions. And I canít help but think wow they are amazing, I want to be like that. I canít help it I am envious. Itís so easy to sleep in, and be lazy, and to make excuses not to do something. But when I see people being so consistent and steady and purposeful... I donít know how to explain it but I think itís amazing.
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post #72 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:30 AM
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@southbound for me... I can’t help but look up to people who do things that I find hard to do. And things that require consistency and effort. I live in a very cold east coast city... and right now it’s freezing and snowy and I see people outside running everyday. Older people and younger people. I drive to work at 6am and there are people outside running in treacherous conditions. And I can’t help but think wow they are amazing, I want to be like that. I can’t help it I am envious. It’s so easy to sleep in, and be lazy, and to make excuses not to do something. But when I see people being so consistent and steady and purposeful... I don’t know how to explain it but I think it’s amazing.
I also live in a cold east coast city and that is why I go to the gym. I used to also pass runners on the street and give them a lot of credit. Now, not so much since I am getting my lazy ass to the gym.
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post #73 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:39 AM
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@southbound for me... I can’t help but look up to people who do things that I find hard to do. And things that require consistency and effort. I live in a very cold east coast city... and right now it’s freezing and snowy and I see people outside running everyday. Older people and younger people. I drive to work at 6am and there are people outside running in treacherous conditions. And I can’t help but think wow they are amazing, I want to be like that. I can’t help it I am envious. It’s so easy to sleep in, and be lazy, and to make excuses not to do something. But when I see people being so consistent and steady and purposeful... I don’t know how to explain it but I think it’s amazing.
I appreciate you sharing. I’m sure it all stems from what one is accustomed to and different upbringings. I grew up in a rural area where we did a lot of manual labor. We worked outdoors in every kind of weather and condition. I can remember helping build a house in the snow, putting in a 14 hour day in 100 heat, and having to get cattle back in the barn in pouring rain. I guess being that we had to do stuff like that without complaint, we got our fill and didn’t engage in it if we didn’t have to. Instead of seeing someone jogging in the freezing rain and thinking they are amazing, I wonder, “does he not have enough sense to get in out of the rain?”That was a phrase used a lot when I was a kid. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I’m just describing differences.

Working in construction and in agriculture can be extremely dangerous. One faces danger every day. Depending on the day, I’ve come to the house at the end of the day with torn clothes and bleeding. Many precautions are taken for safety reasons, but all the work had a purpose. At the end of the day, I just don’t have the desire to go jogging in icy rain or trying to kill myself climbing a mountain.

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Last edited by southbound; 01-26-2020 at 12:20 PM.
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post #74 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Immaturity

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I appreciate you sharing. Iím sure it all stems from what one is accustomed to and different upbringings. I grew up in a rural area where we did a lot of manual labor. We worked outdoors in every kind of weather and condition. I can remember helping build a house in the snow, putting in a 14 hour day in 100 heat, and having to get cattle back in the barn in poring rain. I guess being that we had to do stuff like that without complaint, we got our fill and didnít engage in it if we didnít have to. Instead of seeing someone jogging in the freezing rain and thinking they are amazing, I wonder, ďdoes he not have enough sense to get in out of the rain?ĒThat was a phrase used a lot when I was a kid. I donít mean that in a bad way, Iím just describing differences.

Working in construction and in agriculture can be extremely dangerous. One faces danger every day. Depending on the day, Iíve come to the house at the end of the day with torn clothes and bleeding. Many precautions are taken for safety reasons, but all the work had a purpose. At the end of the day, I just donít have the desire to go jogging in icy rain or trying to kill myself climbing a mountain.


I totally understand why that wouldnít appeal to you. If your upbringing was mind I would have the same view.
But when people are stuck in an office all day itís different. I work in a basement with no windows... I canít wait to go out and feel the fresh air, whether that be rain snow or wind. For me and many people, we donít get enough fresh air, and it truly is therapeutic.
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post #75 of 76 (permalink) Old 01-26-2020, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Immaturity

@southbound my dad was a very hard working, working class, work with your hands beat your body up daily type of man. I understand that the last thing he wants to do, or should do is climb a mountain.
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