This is my first posting and it will be long. So apologies but thanks for advice/feedback.
I'm 40, wife "Anna" is 33. Together 9 years, married for 6. Two kids, ages 5 and 3. I travel frequently for work, my wife occasionally. She works for national bank. We live in upstate NY. She is a great mom and wife, really wholesome so I never thought I'd be in this situation.
Her manager "Kurt" is 41, based in Cleveland. She has worked for him for 2-3 years. She has to go out there a few times per year, he comes out our way a few times a year. They've developed a friendship which didn't bother me. She has gone out with him and his girlfriend when she is in Cleveland in the past, seemed innocent. I believe he is divorced, I know he at least has a kid. In October the bank combined some positions and he lost his job.. I know it bothered her she was really stressed with "getting to know a new boss now when she had a good relationship with Kurt"
On November 13-14 she was out in Cleveland with her team to meet the new boss. She had told me she was going to meet Kurt out on the night of 11/14. She checked in with me a few times throughout the night both phone and texts.
Around 11:30 pm her iPad starts pinging. She didn't bring it with her, so the kids can play with it. I got up to shut the sound off, when I saw this exchange (edited for spelling only) the convo seems a bit jumbled - May be they were slow to respond to each other or that is how it came through on the iPad.
Anna: 11:36pm So you still owe me dinner next time!!! (They headed out around 5:00 but never ate- only bars)
Kurt: Agreed. and a drink. Or two.
Anna: Lol... Good on drinks
Kurt: Not yet, but close. You are good AP look me up when you in Clev (AP is a nickname I had for her that apparently he does too)
Kurt: had fun tonight. Hope you did too. Sorry for the awful pizza.
Anna: So Feb 6-7 I am back... save the date!
Anna: I had fun too
Kurt: I will... And dinner will be planned much better
Kurt: drinks at "xxxx bar" maybe skip
Kurt: outside the lines- you are good- you will do well.
Kurt: next time you and I just hang.
Anna: outside the lines??
Kurt: of work. Of political correctness. Where I can tell you you are pretty and it is ok.
Anna: it was just you and I? (She is questioning because they were alone 5-10' then at 10 his girlfriend came out to drive him home, it was the three of them 10-11)
Kurt: yes - until you got hammered... Or until I did.
Anna: lol you did
Kurt: I got the delicious pizza for us. (Sarcasm - the pizza was terrible)
Anna: ok going to bed now
Kurt: next time we eat in your room. Easier to trust room service.
Kurt: Later AP
Anna: don't forget me because you are gone now!
Kurt: you're cute. Have a good night sweetie. Sorry I missed on dinner. Order at hotel. Next time in town let me know.
Kurt: I will do the same. I have some friends by you now. In "your town"
Anna: already in bed... No dinner tonight.
Kurt: And that is somehow hot. The dinner part my bad. But the bed part...
Kurt: it is early now that I see it. What do you sleep in?
Anna: seriously you are in the car with "girlfriend"
Kurt: Umm... I am home. I live 15 minutes away. You should come hang. I will cook dinner. (I do not know if he lives with girlfriend)
Anna: so it is "Albany College" pajama pants. Now that is TMI
Kurt: that is cute... And I liked holding your hand. Different, now but had fun. Hope you did too. I want to see.
Anna: to see?
Kurt: Albany College pants
Anna: I have to delete this conversation.
Kurt: I have heard that before. Usually it is from "boss" but glad it's u now
Anna: 12:05 am lol. Hope you are around when I am back here.
She then had to get to airport early for early flight home. There were exchanges that morning about how hung over they feel, need to eat etc. when she got back that morning I confronted her (next post)