General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Most of us work. Some people work from 8-5 some people until 7.30pm. If you are in committed relationship and you have a child, you don't have trust issue and your spouse wants to go out with friends. What do you think is reasonable time for your spouse to come home? And how often? So you both feel comfortable.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Some on the board would say anytime when the fun was over because they're just blowing off steam and no harm, no foul. I see this becoming another girls/guys night out issue lol.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
In my opinion, GNO is ok as long as all of them are married. The problem is when a married person starts hanging out with the singles, that's when all the crazy **** happen
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
If no trust issues or anything like that then I've never given H a curfew or vice versa. Seems like something we'd do for our teenager and not each other. We also don't limit how often. More important to me is that he always invites me along. Sometimes I go, usually not. He also tells me honestly when he expects to be home, if it's just drinks after work and he'll be home by 8:00 or friends in from out of town, might close down the bars. Then he calls if plans change.
I think it's important to maintain outside friends and interests so I don't think I would make a big deal of it until/unless it started to get out of hand.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheatinghubby
Some on the board would say anytime when the fun was over because they're just blowing off steam and no harm, no foul. I see this becoming another girls/guys night out issue lol.
I'm guessing you're right!
There are a couple of curfew threads in the Family and Parenting Forum that you could always check out too....
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Quote:
Originally Posted by scione
In my opinion, GNO is ok as long as all of them are married. The problem is when a married person starts hanging out with the singles, that's when all the crazy **** happen
Ha - you've obviously never been out with a bunch of married women.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Quote:
Originally Posted by LexusNexus
Most of us work. Some people work from 8-5 some people until 7.30pm. If you are in committed relationship and you have a child, you don't have trust issue and your spouse wants to go out with friends. What do you think is reasonable time for your spouse to come home? And how often? So you both feel comfortable.
Early enough that your spouse does not question it.
Frequency? They are glad you are going out is good.
They are questioning it on a forum... too often. Just cuz your friends do it doesn't mean you should. Make all the plans in the world, but gauge the environment at home before you step out the door. If your spouse had a bad day or wants to talk about something, break your plans.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
I know the importance of social life. I trust my wife, but I think she goes over the limit. She works untill 7.30pm. By the time she leaves work it's about 8 pm. She doesnt get home until 12 or 12.30am. At the same time she text every 1-2 hours and tell me she is on her way. She does it 3 times a month.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
We don't have children but my husband would go out until 3am sometimes without me before we moved to the city. I was always invited but my days of partying into the small hours are behind me - I just don't enjoy that anymore. I'd rather sleep! I would be lying if I said I loved it though. It was never more than once every 2 months, and he was with friends I knew, and we lived in a TINY town where we knew everyone, and he was on foot, so it was pretty much the least threatening situation, but I still didn't love it. I kept that to myself though, since it's not his fault that I'm a boring stick in the mud who can't stay up late.
Now that we live in a real city... he hasn't gone out in the evening without me (except to play sports and he is home before dinner) yet... I hope he doesn't decide to start. I would say 1 or 2am as a cutoff for how late I would find acceptable. We don't have kids and we live in a country where dinner is usually around 11:00pm so we're used to things running a little later than in the US.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
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Originally Posted by TheLostSheep
Going out 3 times a month until midnight would be no issue for me whatsoever (hell, I do that, easily).
Just my two cents but this seems like nothing, especially if you're young and live in a major metro.
I have to agree. Three times a month doesn't seem like a lot to me. Especially if when home he's doing his part with the kids and things and if you're allowed your time out as well.
Re: What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time
Assuming no trust issues, I would ask wifey when she was going to be back, and if I had a problem with the time, I would discuss with her. If I knew Alcohol was to be involved I would take into account that she may lose track of time, or simply forget, and that would be okay with me, but this would also be conversed.
Ultimately it is up to both spouses to communicate effectively and come to a mutually acceptable time before the outing.
What time you expect your spouse to be home after social time 
