I thought that I would share my story and give hope for others that a marriage can be repaired, as well as getting some advice with ongoing issues with me.
W and I have been together for over 30 years, been married for almost 29. We had a severely handicapped child who passed away a few months ago.
For over 20 years, our baby required so much care and work, I became the sole breadwinner while W's life revolved around the child. It was the only way and I have no regrets.
About 4 years ago, I became suspicious that W was seeing someone else. I found a "pay as you go" cell phone, got the account info and looked up the account. There were a lot of calls to one man.
I confronted W, she denied, said that she had purchased the phone for a friend, he was a coworker friend, etc, etc. She convinced me that she wasn't seeing anyone.
Although it didn't add up, I believed her.
About two years ago, W's best friend was in a bad marriage and spent a lot of time with us. She was a fun person, a joy to be around and I didn't mind at all. The friend and I spent a lot of time together talking about her marriage as well as the problems W and I were having. We weren't very "in love" anymore.
Well, about a year ago, the friend and I got together and had a PA. W saw us out on the deck one night. She didn't say anything, but went back to her previous OM.
I finally could not take it anymore and confessed. She told me all about her EA/PA as well. It was rough for a while, I thought I was in love with the OW, but she was just looking for a meal ticket. I finally decided (with a lot of help from counselors and friends) that she was a user and not in love with me and completely broke off all contact and knew then that I did love W and had to fix this. I also found out that I was one of three men in the running for her to latch on to. I also found out that she is a drug addict and a thief.
We spent a lot of time in counseling, talking to family and friends and are now in love like a couple of school kids. It's great!!
I see her as the most beautiful, sexiest, sweetest, woman in the world and she treats me like a king. The sex is awesome, we hold hands on walks, go do fun things together all the time.
People, an affair does not mean that the marriage is over if you are both willing to work very hard to fix your problems.
My issues;
Although I have no reason to think this, I often wonder if she is seeing the OM while I'm away(I work overseas and am gone every other month).
I run scenarios though my head about what would happen if I found out she was seeing him.
I am pissed off that W had the OM in our bed. I am pissed of that another man has had sex with my wife. When I think about what she did, I get angry. I also get angry when I think about what I did. I can handle the anger with my actions, but I am having difficulties with my anger towards her.
I just wish I could forget about the whole thing.
Any ideas on this?
W and I have been together for over 30 years, been married for almost 29. We had a severely handicapped child who passed away a few months ago.
For over 20 years, our baby required so much care and work, I became the sole breadwinner while W's life revolved around the child. It was the only way and I have no regrets.
About 4 years ago, I became suspicious that W was seeing someone else. I found a "pay as you go" cell phone, got the account info and looked up the account. There were a lot of calls to one man.
I confronted W, she denied, said that she had purchased the phone for a friend, he was a coworker friend, etc, etc. She convinced me that she wasn't seeing anyone.
Although it didn't add up, I believed her.
About two years ago, W's best friend was in a bad marriage and spent a lot of time with us. She was a fun person, a joy to be around and I didn't mind at all. The friend and I spent a lot of time together talking about her marriage as well as the problems W and I were having. We weren't very "in love" anymore.
Well, about a year ago, the friend and I got together and had a PA. W saw us out on the deck one night. She didn't say anything, but went back to her previous OM.
I finally could not take it anymore and confessed. She told me all about her EA/PA as well. It was rough for a while, I thought I was in love with the OW, but she was just looking for a meal ticket. I finally decided (with a lot of help from counselors and friends) that she was a user and not in love with me and completely broke off all contact and knew then that I did love W and had to fix this. I also found out that I was one of three men in the running for her to latch on to. I also found out that she is a drug addict and a thief.
We spent a lot of time in counseling, talking to family and friends and are now in love like a couple of school kids. It's great!!
I see her as the most beautiful, sexiest, sweetest, woman in the world and she treats me like a king. The sex is awesome, we hold hands on walks, go do fun things together all the time.
People, an affair does not mean that the marriage is over if you are both willing to work very hard to fix your problems.
My issues;
Although I have no reason to think this, I often wonder if she is seeing the OM while I'm away(I work overseas and am gone every other month).
I run scenarios though my head about what would happen if I found out she was seeing him.
I am pissed off that W had the OM in our bed. I am pissed of that another man has had sex with my wife. When I think about what she did, I get angry. I also get angry when I think about what I did. I can handle the anger with my actions, but I am having difficulties with my anger towards her.
I just wish I could forget about the whole thing.
Any ideas on this?
